its you who I want! I don't want him!!
its you who holds my heart~
but u deny what you feel from with in.

You said youd always be here as my friend and whenever id need you.....
youd be right there...

well when is this gonna start *** im a few months on back log and need someone to talk to.....

Your my only choice and id like to speak to you..
Why cant you keep your word.....that's really all I ask for you to do....
I really  miss you and want you back in my life ......if I cant physically hold you....
then this will have to do....
id rather have the tiny bit of chit chat that we have instead of having nothing from you..

Its just not fair.......
*** I wasn't aware of all that is to know....
and I want to do it over *** I love you so....
but ur afraid of whatever fear that binds your actions....
so I guess  I will forever yearn and ache for your touch,

In two weeks it'll be 4yrs...thinking about that makes my eyes bleed tears....
If I could only get you to understand and really see....that the person I was before wasn't the real me...
As I said it before and I swear it to be true... that I jjust  thought you were some random guy who was cheating on his girl like a lot of men do.,,

If youd said the facts of what now are known to be.... then you would have gotten the real and true person of which I want you to see.....
I never knew that you were YOU....
So I didn't think of it as anything meant to be and I for sure didn't think that you wanted any of the love I may have had for thee....

If id known that you were YOU....I would have been real....honest, loving, and so very true.....
I even told you that I had love in my heart but my true love was the one who held the key...
little did I know that you were HE!!

I knew back then 4 yrs ago that I loved you with passion, unconditional and that our love would only beautifully grow.

As for now I just cant let you go...and deep down I think you feel the same but for what ever reason are in fear to let it show...

There is something deep within you and me.....
We've searched for a life time or so it seems to me
But I truly feel that deep in my heart we are meant to be..
Please stop fighting what destined to be and let your love flow free.

I did love you but didn't see it for being very real...and surely I didn't think you cared for the way I really feel...
I just thought you wanted your cake and to eat it too....
like so many men these day always do..

If you'd been straight up with me we could have have loved above the realms of reality...
I need the chance so you can see the actual person I have grown to be...
I need this to happen and for it to take place *** my heart wants no other and no other can ever take your place.
You cant even compare you to any other.....
I only want you as my one and only lover..

I don't want , hope or nor will I pray....this  I need and my heart and soul know that there is no other way..

To heal or repair my mind In any way/..... I need this to happen and after that let the chips fall where they may...

Im not asking but its more of do or die......I need to prove to you that I want you as my guy...

I want to love you with all of my heart
and it would have been that way if id known all the facts from the very start...

We both did things that could have done right..... but that doesn't matter know...
I just want to hold you when I sleep each night...

I want to love you like no other has ever done.....
and every day show you why I love you and why your my #1

Cant you see how very special you are to me?
It wasn't fair how it all went down before....
and I want to start over and love you forever more..

There has to be a reason for why I feel this way.....
and if after we meet if you don't want me then I will sadly walk away...
then never again will you see or read a word from me....but if you hate me so much isn't that how ud like it to be???

So can you please grant me this one last wish ...
so we can either let it grow or put an end to all this...

So YEA....in 2 weeks = 4 yrs ,
again thinking about it makes my eyes well with tears.

since we've been apart Ive had time to think~
a lot of the **** that took place really did stink~

but then there was just as many if not more good things too~
I hope one day to make amends with you!

until that day I will continue to learn and to grow~
so if that day does come.....my love you will sure see, feel, and it'll show!!

my soul aches for yours~
my heart misses feeling your heart beat as our bodies are pressed tightly together~
your everything I have ever wanted and more~
I hope u give me the chance to prove my words are pure and true~
and I will be all the things that you wanted me too!