it is a word you say
when you're leaving or away
it can be sad
or the opposite of bad

you see the word 'goodbye'
why is it a combination of the two words
good and bye?
i wish i had the knowledge why

but anyway

goodbye my friends
i havent been a good one
but i did try
though soon i realised
that i probably shouldn't have been
why should i -----
but what is the word you put there?
is it care or try
or is it seeking attention or just mere impression

but whatever

i apologise for everything
i really am
i envy you all
all of you are beautiful without doubt
people who be themselves
and dont change for others
are beautiful
and i envy them
you

anyway my point is
do not change for others
though i highly doubt you will
because you are probably laughing at this ****** piece of work
but whatever right

im saying goodbye
without knowing how
and ended up with this
i bid my goodbyes without saying them
cos thats exactly what i had planned in mind

it was a nice roller coaster meeting you guys
you beautiful crazies

2.18 AM

The couple next door are shouting and throwing things, the cries of children can be heard
I'm awake from my uncomfortable sleep

A middle-aged lady is sobbing on the bench, palms over her face
Thinking why is love so cheap

Almost unconscious, the brown eyed girl stares at her wrist on the bathroom floor
Maybe she have cut too deep

The heartbroken freshman stood at the border of a mountain *****
Not caring that it is steep

As her phone lights up, she buries herself in the blanket
Ignoring the beep

2.19 AM

I'm lost in my thoughts, wondering
Why can't people just be happy for a second?

It follows you
It seems almost impossible to break free
From its cruel, hateful grasp
You think you've escaped it
But again it captures you
More tight and securely than before
Once again you are trapped
In the hands of a monster

You paint lines on your arms
In a wonderful shade of red
To prove to yourself and those around you
Your pain is as real as any other emotion
Any other feeling
Its alive, more alive than you have been for a long time
And you can feel something once again
The pleasurable sting of the crimson sea
Making its way to shore
On your virginal white skin
Now stained with scarlet puddles

Or the food you made such an effort to consume
When it makes a reappearance
Its swimming inside the lavatory
You are no longer just empty in your soul
But also in your stomach, a body part you despise,
with such a burning passion.

You may poison yourself in many other ways,
in attempt to slay this beast
Like a medication, to ease the pain and discomfort
Pills and liquor, *** and love making
Also take the edge off for a little while
And a little while is a whole lot better than nothing at all
But its not enough
Its still got you