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 Jan 2015 Pink Halverson
Pen Lux
I'm not sure if I'm
more sad
             or relieved
that you don't read
what I write
or that I
sometimes
keep you up
late at night
twisting and turning
               sweating body
             getting hot in your
sleep so hot that you
wake to another
smoldering morning
              another hard day
          a chance to fight the world
             to punish whomever
              because you deserve it
             your loneliness a cave
          that you're a slave to
too afraid to find a home
unsure how to speak
    no signs of being weak
       just angry
alone in your rage
your pen writing your wage
as you build up your cage
the walls of your spirit
bury themselves deep
  an attempt to escape
    solemn efforts
    mouth agape
you'll find no empathy from me
not any more, no, not again
no longer lovers, we were never friends
unrequited, ignited and scarred
not knowing your own strengths
you kept your heart barred
then swung hard
   almost a year since
no regrets yet
almost a life spent
wasted and thrown
hollow bombshell feelings
I write you with my fingertips
while I write these poems too
I hope we never cross paths again
because it's true, I still love you
 Apr 2013 Pink Halverson
v V v
You and I are not dead yet,
I think I know it,
I know you do.
I see you in the minutiae
of the stars.

its all the same
from way down here,
a grand perception, a vision
of you at sunset flickering
without your flame.

Your call to arms is
a boy cries wolf.
I mold you into art
from nuts and bolts.

In conflict
you catch my eye
and then you’re gone.
Your coming is inconsistent,
different colors, different shades,
you're more than one.

I cannot ascertain the
direction from which they come,
left or right, above, below, I don't know
I only know when they come
when all of them come

all of you

you are more than one when all of you come

all of you
 Apr 2013 Pink Halverson
lillian
hands gripping the icy cold steering wheel
so hard my palms are numb
passing the bus stop, the street we used to take to get to your house
my chest gets tight
my breath shallow
a white, painful hurt in my heart
a harsh stab of pleasure between my legs
I ******* miss you
the way you made me feel - so naive
never understanding you
trying endlessly to please you
driving I'm driving
thinking of your face and your eyes
your sharp, rough fingernails digging into my waist
wincing with pain
long, stumbling walks in the dark
the knives in your pockets
the summer
the time you lost your mind
I ******* want it back, I'd take you back
Please just please tell me you remember
the light changes and I accelerate
leave the familiar street behind, leave you behind
A beautiful, terrible memory.
smaller smaller smaller
goodbye
just a moment ago i was in your arms
you held me close
as i kissed your lips
and i swear i breathed your scent
just a moment ago
you smiled at me
as i whispered that i love you
then you said
(as you always do)
that you loved me to
just moment ago
you looked into my eyes
your hazel star traps glinting like diamonds
i swear i seen my whole world
that moment seems forever ago
a lifetime ago a steamy fantasy
a hot dream
im a hot mess
you get me like this
you make me write about stars
and little blue hearts
about how you fix everything
that you once broke apart
you hate it when i mention it
but you know its true
i almost died without you
 Apr 2013 Pink Halverson
ashley
you may not have faith
in yourself

you might think that
you're unattractive
or weird
or simply just
don't belong

but when i look at you
i don't see any of that

i see some flaws,
but definitely not in a bad way

your flaws are what make you
who you are,
and I'll always accept
you no matter
how think of yourself


a.m.
If we were advised
Our lives would be televised,
How would we be?
Would we be worthy to see?
Would we ourselves
Want to watch?
Flip through the channels
Every single one of us
In high definition
Being human,
Would it be
A horrible reality?
Or would we be entertained
By the insurmountable variety?
Stalkers of the new generation
Greater than any YouTube sensation,
Natural born stars and entertainers
Shuttled into their spotlight; invisible containers
While the rest of us wonder
If we can laugh at every blunder,
Would emotions die
Or run rampant empathy
For a possible scripted lie?
This future I hope to never see...
APAD13 011 - © okpoet
Good god my man
Do you want me to love you?
Throw myself at the ivory base
Of your precious little pedestal?
Well good luck with that one
You sweet confused child
Who hardens the wretched knot
Forever squeezing my chest
Strangling my heart and lungs
Don't play with me any longer
I'm trying my ******* hardest
To grow my young bones up
To wake up alone and proud
To be able to turn around
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