words tumbled loosely
from a tongue bitter with rage
forced to hear lies
his anger misplaced  
he will always see her mother
when he looks in her eyes
blind to her fear
deaf to her cries
to him, she is just another reminder
of hatred

Can you hear it
The rapid beating
Can you feel it
The sweet anticipation
We have waited long
Using small words to occupy time
Sometimes often, sometimes rare
But each day, a word or two
To remind us of this time, this day
Where two virtual friends
Finally make the few heartfelt words
Ring true ...

Hello, it is nice to finally meet you.

Quietly, I sat there
in that big, black chair,
the one she always sat in
and out of nowhere,
I watched dad cry
Pools of tears
all 69 years
shown on his face
crumbling
mumbling
my heart breaking
as he cried for the wife he lost
He started reciting
her every last words
what she wore
and how she felt
I sat there quietly
in that ******* chair
the one she always sat in
and out of nowhere,
I watched my daddy melt
Not knowing what to say
or how to feel
Never before felt
so helpless...

Helpless

My rock,
my one and only rock
is slowly slipping away
The rock that held us all up;
that surrounded us with years
of protective care,
is struggling to stand tall himself
I feel helpless;
helpless that I can't fix
all the circumstances
that life has forced upon him,
helpless that I cant heal
that which cannot be healed,
cant change that
which cannot be changed;
helpless that I cannot
bring his roses, tulips
and all his laughter back
I feel helpless
Helpless that I can't bring Mom back
I can only pray
that now I can be his rock


~Priya 🕉️

She is the tickle behind my ear
whispering love from afar
offering hope and faith
best wishes for us all

I see pictures of her
smiling laughing drinking
She is beautiful in her mask
Her mask ... she wears it well

Behind; tear stained cheeks
permanently scarred heart
eyes as bleak as withered snow
She is lost, I cannot find her

Saddened by life's choices
dying from a broken heart
a loss of hope, of will
She is giving up

But I love her with all my heart....

I thought I had lost
I thought the ground beneath me
was slipping away
that I had fallen
and was slowly drifting astray
drowning in the pain
of losing my son, once again
I thought I had lost
everything ...

Then he texted me
he's coming home
from dark, the light
had suddenly shone
If only a day,
or an hour or two
I'll take every moment
I can with you
To hear you laugh
To see you smile
If only for a little while

If only a day,
or an hour or two
I'll take every moment
I can with you
My son is coming home ...

~

My words today
are soft like silk
and warm like the honey
that kisses your lips
Perhaps from there
my words will sip
They become the  
devine intertwine
of consonants and vowels
like fingers twirling through
the strands of my hair
Today I will smile into the air
and from the corner of my eyes
poetry will drip
filling your pages with me

© Priya ॐ 6/29

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds.

~ Percy Bysshe Shelley

How do I love thee
Let me count the ways ...

It is all the unspoken words
You whisper to my heart
And in the distance between us
That is keeping us apart

It's the way your smile melts
Any fears that I may have
And in the joy you express
Each and every time I laugh

It's in the inexplicable way
You look at me, sometimes unaware
That I myself am locked
In the passion of your stare

It's in the way your fingers
Slide softly down my face
Memorizing my features
Touching each and every place

Its in those very first moments
When we knew something was there
In that very first kiss
That reached me everywhere

There are no words enough
And not enough days
But moments in time
To express the many ways

If not me, then with whom
whom to pretend with
to act tough with
to be angry with
when the answers you seek
are not answers at all
If not me, then with whom
to be your faithful eyes
when you just can't see
and to hear the things
you ignore determinedly
all the while, fervently
pushing me away
I don't know what to say
or how to be
but I'm here, waiting patiently
for you to finally see me
for me, for you
I'm here, fumbling, stumbling
through something so humbling
hating that your hurting
hating that we are crumbling
when all I want to do
is hold you, help you
be the rock you know me to be
just as you have been for me

~ Priya 🕉,  Feb 26, 22

If, from a distance so vast
With the spell you have cast
A few words from your lips
Makes my heart perform flips
Imagine, what you do in my arms

With these words, I thee wed..
I think I'd rather be dead

For richer or poorer, till death do us part
See the theme, now where do I start?

Been rich, been poor and I am still alive
sadly, rest of my marriage took a nose dive

We loved, we lost. We laughed, we cried
He made me promises, of course he lied

"forever baby, just you and me"
till the end of time we will be

That lasted a few short years
after that, nothing but tears

More and more girls came in and out
while I love, honered, and obeyed.  What was that about!!

Time and again I kept on forgiving
Time and again you kept on cheating

Thought you would repent, but you dont know how
Enough is enough, I'm leaving you now

The keys are on the table and please dont pout
I'll shut the door on my way out.

I didn't know how bad I was
how my laughter could hurt you
and how my smile brought you pain
how you needed to beat me again and again

You needed my pain,
to cut me with knives
my blood was your air
and my screams breathed you life

I didn't know how bad I was
that you had to lock me up with fear
gagged, tied, and burnt
from my head to my ears

You needed my pain
to take away yours
so you killed me each day
again and again

I was only eight years old
and I could finally breath peace
I knew I was dying  
I love you mom, I'm sorry I was me

~ Priya 🕉, Feb 29, 2020


In memory of Gabriel Fernandez, a story and a boy that has forever changed me

You don't have to remember,
I'll remind you
I'll love you when it's dark
and I'll shower you with light  
I'll understand
when things do not seem right
I'll try not to be angered
because you were never with me
I will walk with you
forever, endlessly
Wherever there is dark,
there must be light
I will help you with this fight
I am here

~ Priya 🕉, 2/5/22

Time trickles by
agonizingly slow
tick tock tick tock
frustrations grow
They are playing the waiting game

Stung by fate
life's little trick
the sweetest boy
so very sick
Tick tock tick tock, time is just a game

Hands aged with fears
bound tight; she prays
fingers shivering
a grandmother softly says
God keep him safe and end this waiting game

Friends and family
kneel down in faith
praying together
In God's love they bathe
Knowing soon that time is almost here

Fate is fate
and we are all bound by destiny
but in my heart of hearts
I pray that he will be
your happy, healthy grandson once again

*to Wanda, you and your grandson are in our prayers

I cried tonight
Soft pillows for which tears to fall
I felt the pent up strains
the aches and pains
drip softly down my cheeks
Does this make me weak?
Then let it be
Let it be me
that's screams aloud
through the tears
of pent up fears
that falls softly upon my cheeks

I listened to his gurgling  
bubble of words with animated eyes  
and flailing arms  
as he told me about his day
His smile as wide and bright as his story
soft in his innocent way  
and I watched him fall asleep
So sweet he is
this beautiful child of mine

© Priya, March 1, 2016

Once again, I have been robbed,
and that which I needed the most
is now in the hands of fate
My eyes have begun to self dilate,
unable to open and unable stay closed
I am hidden yet very much exposed
Sleep has somehow
become a dream of the past
I have been robbed of my senses
unable to feel or taste
anything other than
an empty space;
anything other than exhaustion
Perhaps I shall fall;
maybe then I will be able to sleep

It's whispering time
when backs are turned and words flow
Each smile is a show

I wonder with birds,
do they chirp incessantly
we smile foolishly

We think it's their song
Love notes in the midnight air
laughing unaware

We become their toy
A mocking ground for love birds
we hang on their words

This is how we are
Spring to summer smiles for show
In the end, it snows

© Priya Patel 5/29/2015

I know how lost you must feel
I've been there
I've walked in your shoes
and cried in the dark
just like you are probably doing
right now, I know ...
You are told to be strong
which is so very wrong
because I promise you
it's ok to just let yourself go
it's ok to let your hurt show
you don't have to stand tall
I'll catch you if you fall
you don't have to act
like everything's ok
Just be you my friend
and as a family,
you will all be strong
for each other

~ Priya Patel 🕉,  March 05, 22

We are oceans apart;
two poets with nothing in common
but the delicate words
dangling between us,
like dandelion seeds,
forever ready to take flight
You are dressed to rule the world
with shiny shoes and newly pressed suits
manipulating numbers
that no one dares to dispute
A man with so many passions
juggling your dreams
battling your demons
becoming a master
of all the moments in your destiny
And then there is me
Two feet in the water
tip-toing on slippery sands
fumbling over broken memories
that no one understands
but my digital pen and paper;
each of us reaching
for all the delicate words
that hang in between us
Two poets, oceans apart,
exploring the written journey
between us,
simply trying to write our own story

~ ©️ Priya Patel 4/22/23 🕉

Months has drifted by

achingly slow

agonizingly so

and yet I remember

each moment

clearer now then even then

Distances toll

The hurt and pain

frustrations bleeding stain

You left me then

in a world unknown

Masked goodbyes

and feeling alone

Weaknesses suddenly

peering from dark corners

That is life, part of love

acknowledging, accepting

understanding, forgiving...

I am still drowning

from all the little things left unsaid

Like I love everything about you

all of you, exactly the way you are

So many life altering moments

in both our lives since then

So many times I wanted to hold you

and whisper I love you again and again

So many times

I just wanted to hold your hand

Here we are again

just a few days more

and all my words

will come out tumbling;

no more fumbling

Just you and I

sharing our love together

Opportunity came by today
completely unaware
Neatly packaged in silver and gold
hope perhaps,  a prayer
Aching desires to do what's right
to do for me for a change -
a feeling so utterly strange

Truth be told,
I'm not yet 100% sold
and opportunity has visited
a lot as of late
Perhaps I should count my blessings
and patiently, silently wait
Perhaps opportunity
has finally found me
Let's see

Perhaps I am someone else's key...

© Priya Patel 6/4/2015

The sun and the sands breath me in
the ocean breeze sings me a duet
I lie on the edge of wet and dry
the salty air humming for me to forget
My world is now in the ocean sand
the cool water so easily opens its hand
and I simply let myself go ...

It hasn't even registered yet
has not sunk in my mind
that years of loving and hurting
laughing and crying
all led to regrets
no sorry's, just regrets
He regrets getting caught
I regret not seeing sooner
Now it is all done and over
and I am back to being one
Freedom, he accuses.  That's why I did it
but I dont feel free
just a deep sense of loss...

What I wouldn't do
to be a fly on my own walls,
The very same walls
of built up frustration,
hurt and pain;
these walls of mine
are back again
I want to see what others see
and feel what they feel
when they see me
I want to know how I am
so I can find myself again

I seemed to have lost a part of myself
in my search for a better me
Perhaps I have been hunting blindly
It is hunt you know, almost a chase
through intricate emotions
Scurrying past my lost innocence;
bypassing everything I thought to be me
Seeing only what I wanted to see
Now I am a lost in a forest of fears,
drowning myself in a fountain of tears
Perhaps my search has come to an end;
I can no longer pretend
The better me is already here
Take me as I am

What became of the bubbling brook
that was once the laughter of my lips
and the tickling humor I always had
and the sassy way I would swing my hips
Where did I go
I cannot be lost in my nitingale dreams
for it has been ages since I've slept it seems
I'm no longer singing in the rains
or flying in planes
to meet my knight in shining armour;
although he waits for me patiently
for even he can see
that I've simply lost myself in grief
It would be so much easier to reprieve
but he's steadfast by my side
waiting for this phase to subside
But I'm lost
and nobody is able to find me

An emptiness blankets me
Like a cloak of darkness
Descending upon light
The silence is deafening
I hear echoes of your voice
Your laughter, ringing in my ears
When I am without you
With you I am lost in the clouds
You, my angel smiling down on me
I want to be lost with you
Come find me again so that we can get
Lost in the clouds together.

Like a butterfly,
my heart flies away
to a place afar
where only emotions exist;
a place where love has kissed
The fragrance of its feelings
is sweet like the nectar of dew
on blades of grass new
just after Springs' first rain;
a taste that lingers
time and again
You sing me a love song
with the poetry you write
and your eyes pearce my heart
with the words you say
Even the birds can't help but sway
Like a butterfly,
my heart does fly away
to a place afar
with the words of our love song

~ Priya 3/20/15

Instinctively, I always knew
you were meant for me, and I you
the way you touched me,
looked at me, into me  
the way your hands melded into mine

In those very first moments
when our eyes first met
it was like an awakening
of two lost souls
finally at peace with their place

Amazing, how suddenly loves embrace
wraps itelf around us
cacooning us from the ouside world
and for just a few short years
we became one.

Subtle like the drifting of clouds 
You slipped into my senses
Quietly, like whispers in the wind
You exposed my wall of defenses
In you, I was expecting nothing
And fought so many forgotten emotions
Within you, I found everything
And gave in to your passionate notions
You bathed me in this luminous light
And patiently, you helped me to see
That while I was lost, stumbling in the dark
There lay loves possibility

You there
me here
writing of our fears
shivering leaves
in winters wake
poetic medicines
for loves aches
we are the ink
that drips  
with loves pain
that is what we are
and here we are again
writing in the sky
where your words fly
like tiny hummingbirds
wings flapping
on my tiny screen
Do you see what I see
Emotions into poetry
Feelings flow like symmetry
Your words to me
For me to read
To read your poetry of me

~ ©️ Priya Patel, Nov 16, 22 🕉

Like a melody in my head
that I cannot forget
you are a symphony of tunes
and our love a sweet duet
every touch every glance
is a lyric I want to taste
so eager am i to hear
each word intimately placed
like a melody in my head
I cannot get out
you are a symphony of tunes
replaying all about
sing to me your dreams
and let me play your song
like a melody in my head
replaying all day long

The morning drizzled in
soft and slow
like the rising sun;
and so did my pain
Unexplained, unexpected
feelings perhaps,
that have been neglected;
a sudden sadness
lurking in the quiet
waiting for this day to come

You left me in March,
almost a year somehow
The days have passed miserably
and I am wondering now
if there was something
I could have done;
maybe I should have
paid more attention,
anything to keep you here with me
Today, I'm missing you
miserably

My tears are flowing
like waterfalls
and all my thoughts
are slammed into walls,
all with pictures of you
Your crazy haircuts
and your goofy smiles
the loudest music
I can hear from miles
as you are driving home to see me
Today, I'm missing that music miserably
Today little brother,
I'm missing you

~ Priya Patel 🕉,  03/09/21

In the midnight of our days
there is no moon
for me to gaze upon
No whispering willows
or symphonies of the night
Just the blaring days sun
blindingly bright
In the midnight of our days,
there is no quiet of the night
The silent hue of stars
no where in sight
The humdrum of the day
becomes wrapped
like a regifted package;
boring and forgotten
passed on
like one moment to the next
In the midnight of our days
I day dream
of chirping crickets
and hooting owls
of whispering willows
and lone wolf howls
In the midnight of our days
I ache for the peacefulness
of the night

You were my moment of weakness
unsuspecting, unknowingly
relentless with your charm
triggering my hearts alarm
Years of building walls
hours spent reminding myself
that the doors to love have closed
then you come along
and suddenly I'm exposed
Opening doors
knocking down walls
falling in love beneath waterfalls
just as we were drowning
in hurt and pain
love comes knocking again
You were my moment of weakness
and now my life is just moments
beneath waterfalls
falling in love all over again

Dew from the morning rain
slides down like tears
along the petals of my cheeks
Your finger tip
takes a gentle dip
listening to how sadness speaks
along the banks of my tears,
catching a glimpse of the lonliness
that grips all of my fears
Nourished by the dew
of the mornings rains,
the rose of me
glimmers once again
waiting for the warmth
of your poetic touch

My beloved
how I miss you so,
the gentle fall and rise of your chest
the sweet laughter from your eyes.

Like a bird with no wings
I am grounded
stumbling on a pebbled sidewalk
of forgotton memories and regrets.

Come back to me my beloved
stumble with me on this pebbled sidewalk
and let us at least remain lost together.