I once lived in a house of endless laughter
Where giggles would tumble like blocks
Dresses would twirl and ponytails fly
Smiles on their faces would give me a high

But that is all water now under a bridge
For I am alone now where only silence lives
Bouncing from wall to wall, nothingness exists
I look at the empty room and ball up my fists

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday rolls by
A blur of endless work hours to make the time fly
Then finally, it is Thursday, and the time is near
The silence from the walls I can no longer hear

It is my day to shine, when the girls will come
Work to school then finally home
Time ceases to exist as the giggling tumbles again
They will leave me soon, but I’m content until then

Thursday to Sunday every other week
All other moments, nothing but bleak
I live for the days when they brighten my walls
Killing the silence, breaking my falls

I can see in their faces
When they think I’m not looking
The tears in their eyes
For the dad they are missing

Noble and strong
Out of nowhere a knight
Rode into my darkness
And filled me with light

Slowly he dared
To enter that place
Where I had been hiding
Afraid to show face

A dungeon of sorts
Hiding fear, hurt and pain
He battled with courage
To enkindle again

The nightmare behind me
In sweet dreams I tread
My heart is now burning
I've healed where I've bled

My moment best

Just as the sun, soft and gentle,
rises into the day,
so did my son
Half walking, partially sleeping,
occasionally stumbling,
slowly creeping his way
across the cold tiled floor
until silently,
he stood swaying in my doorway
In the tiniest voice, he whispered,
"Mommy can I sleep with you?"
I opened my arms like the branches of a tree
and like a baby bird to his nest,
as soft as can be
he lay soft against my chest
I knew from then
that from all the moments
and memories of today,
that this would be my best
With his hands wrapped around my waist,
and his breath soft against my chest;
I knew from then
that from all the moments
and memories of today,
that this would be my best


🕉️ ~ Priya

Your lips
Your eyes
Touching me
Seeing me
As only you can
Sweetest, softest touch
You against me
Desire for desire
Taking me away
From anything not you
Your lips
Your eyes
Whisper soft
Whisper me
On my neck
In my heart
Eyes closed
You are
My sweetest taboo...

What beauty is this
where the cool crisp air
hugs the warmth of the sun;
and where the hands of a tree
in a quieted silence
reach out to me
What beauty is this
where the sun's rays
tickle my face
and a gentle breeze
like an unexpected tease
reminds me of everything you
What beauty is this
where the pitter patter of rain
leaves the unmistakable stain
of my memories
and like the hands of the trees
beneath the warmth of the sun
where magical dreams
are miraculously spun,
all that I feel are your arms
Like a blanket of comfort,
nature's mystical allure
wraps around me
in the quieted silence of peace
What beauty is this

~ Priya 🕉,  2/6/22

It's so serene, comforting

to know that someone, somewhere

either here, or there needs me...

What is it, this feeling

of wanting, caring, giving

just because

It feels so warm

like a velvet blanket

on a chilly winter day

Just the knowing

that someone, somewhere

either here, or there needs me...

Good morning, I breath out
to the early morning air
a brewing wind
weaving through my hair
kissing the lids
to eyes of hope
A new day is here

I am here once again
Flying the friendly skies
Searching through clouds
For a glimpse of you
I've been here before
so many times
Always with excitement
For a journey new

Anxious for the moment
To see your smile once again
To feel the love in your eyes
To be lost in your embrace
It's not the same this time
You will not be at the gate
Your eyes will not be searching
in a crowd for my anxious face

I miss you
A journey without you
Is like water without ice
A journey bland like
Tea without sugar or
A dish with no spice
It's just not the same....

Our silence echoes
like the annoying drip
of a leaking faucet
Yesterday mine,
perhaps, today yours
Both of us entangled
in this vortex of life
Our lives intertwined
like the familiar curling
of branches in a tree
We are, in one moment,
the subtle waves that crash
in a peaceful hum at the shore
but then drifts off in an endless sea
We are together yet oceans apart
Both so busy with our
everyday stresses
Every moment spent
on life's unexpected messes
And so we listen
as the soft ticking
of time passes us by
I miss you
I miss who you were
when she was still here
I miss just sitting with you
and watching hours of TV,
even the silly moments
when all we do is laugh
I miss all the moments we loose
while we are oceans apart
I wish she was here
but shes not
and I really need you back

A violet sky
     across horizons new
Shimmering fish
     swim across oceans blue
Birds chirp
     in unison, as if on cue
And I can only
     think of you

You came to me

like a whisper in my ear;

soft and subtle

with a hint of more

Like my faithful shadow,

you walk beside me;

learning and loving

the many paths

that I have walked

Take my hand

and let us stroll

down the paths

that together

we have created

Let me learn and love you

as you have so openly

loved me

Well I snapped today
I lost my temper
and my God loving cool
perhaps even my sanity
and I feel like a fool
for hurting the one person
in this world that's needs me
I'm trying so hard
and I am failing miserably
I think this is what we call
a breakdown
I don't know if I can
turn this around
It's not easy letting someone down
especially someone who is your world
I did it though
and with just a few loud words
I let my frustration and despair
out of the box and into the air
and all reasoning went out the door
I was so angry,
I threw everything on the table
resoundingly to the floor
and stormed out of the house frustratingly
leaving him hurt, confused, and angry
I've never lost my cool like that before
Every hour of every day
I watch him grieve
and I don't know what to say
to make this pain go away
I just don't know what to say
All I want to do is help him

~ Priya Patel 🕉,  March 11, 22

A lifetime of moments
spread like tiny seeds
scattered at her feet
Learning, growing
smiling, crying
laughter and tears
giggles and fears
and all the ups and downs
of a girl with stars in her eyes
and dreams in her skies
A lifetime of moments
spread like tiny seeds
scattered by innocent feet
so she can bloom
like blue in the spring
and purple in the fall
She has now blossomed
into a flower of all seasons

She is Payal...

Pitter patter, pitter patter
I awoke this morning 
To the soft tapping of water
Against the many panes
Of my bedroom windows

The sound is mesmerizing
Pitter patter, pitter patter
I watched and listened silently
As rivulets of water chased
Each other in a race to the end

The rumbling of thunder is followed
By sudden flashes of bright lights
Pitter patter, pitter patter
The skies are singing me a song
The many sounds a unique symphony

Endless streaks of water
Float like clouds down the panes
For moments at a time it is quiet, then
Pitter patter, pitter patter
The chasing of water continues

Wrapped in my warm fuzzy blanket
I sit on a benchseat by the window
Watching the rain cleanse away
All of the previous days' stresses
Pitter patter, pitter patter

Pencil or pen in the hand
On the paper it shall land
Every word a story will unfold
Taking readers to legends untold
Rhyming lines the secret potion
Yes, poetry over motion

Over and over letters collide
Victory when poetry decides
Every pen needs paper to confide
Readily in heart a poem shall reside

Movement of words across the page
Only your thoughts taking center stage
Trust in poetry to sing to your heart
In all it's motions, it will soon start
Opening doors to rhythmic places
Now and then to different faces

Come close to me my darling love
For I have waited for you so long
To hold me, touch me, wrap me up
In your arms where I belong

I long to lose myself again
In the scent of your desire
To Touch your skin and fan the flames
Of this never ending fire

Your lips I crave to kiss me here
My lips to kiss you there
Your nakedness against my own
Touching me everywhere

We gaze into each others eyes
As you prepare me with your caresses
Your name I whisper again and again
As my body yours possesses

I dread walking alone to my car late at night
The lot is so massive and always scarce of light
I reach into my purse and fumble for my keys
Wait, what was that!  I dropped to my knees  
I peered into the darkness but no one was there
But I know what I heard, I'm going nowhere
There it is again! Footsteps somewhere behind me
Oh my God, where is my car, where could it be
I saw by a lamppost in the dim parking lot
A shadow of a man holding something he bought
In a brown paper bag he reached deep inside
And pulled out a knife; I knew I had to hide
I scampered behind one of the cars beside me
I could see him glance around and hoped he couldn't see
Fear crept along the spine of my back
I saw him toss aside the brown paper sack
He walked closer towards me and I wanted to scream
Is this really happening; it feels like a dream
I was going to die right here right now
I can't let this happen, someway somehow
If I'm going to escape, I must do something soon
Before I come face to face with that fierce looking goon
I crawled under a car and held a can of mace
He was walking towards me at a snails pace
Ahhhh he grabbed my foot and dragged me from under the car
He twisted me around and all I saw was his scar
A deep red **** along the side of his face
That's it I'm going to die in this god awful place 
He grabbed me by the hair and I kneed him in the crotch
I saw him reach up the knife and I was too scared to watch
I kicked him again and fought with all my might 
But he was so strong and put up a good fight
Determined I am to make it through this day
I punched him in the face and I heard him say
I'm going to **** you now and you will never be found
I sprayed the mace into his eyes and he fell to the ground
It is you who will die, you thought you were smart
I reached for the knife and stabbed him in the heart
My whole body was shaking as he took his last breath
I could feel all around me the stench of death
The police found me later passed out with the knife
I am writing this now as I serve twenty to life
It was my husband I killed on that very day
But I do not regret it, he deserved to die that way
Day after day the abuse got worse
I knew that I would soon someday burst
I sit here each day from this tiny cell
And live out my life from this prisoned hell

Its the silent nights
I've come to dread
the silent sewing
of needle and thread
stiching my tearfilled wounds
I am a hero by day
and rag doll by night
torn and falling apart
unable to reach light
I am a cause
that seems to be lost

© Priya Oct 15, 2015

harsh rains soak through me
suddenly refertilized
once again I bloom

my roots awakened
the child in me comes alive
dancing in the rain

Lost completely in thoughts
not unusually so
Reminiscing those first moments
beneath a canopy of snow
A nervous first glance
That look in your eyes
I think we both knew
we were in for a surprise
Do you remember
that first kiss
unexpectedly new
The shock of realizing
I was seducing you
I was shocked too
Do you remember
walking in the clouds
of frozen waterfalls with me
Kissing on a bench
beneath a tall willow tree
Shivering from the cold
you held me in your arms
Birds watching from above
as you weaved your charms
Setting off all
of loves alarms
Lost completely in thoughts
not unusually so
Reminiscing each and every moment
after that first hello

Respond
squeeze tight my hand
blink soft your eyes just once
show me you are fighting, or else
I'll break

Reply
twitch your fingers
to the sounds of my voice
show me somehow, someway, or else
I'll break

Release
me from your pain
the sadness in your eyes
I feel in me mom, and for you
I ache

Wake up
speak to me soft
shake my hand, scream out loud
get up from that bed now!  But please
don't quit

Upon a bed of bursting orange
and golden yellow leaves
A pattern forms upon the ground
that nature gently weaves

I watch as they slowly pirouette
to their final resting place

My feet softly crunching on
the jewels of fall
from splendid trees so tall

Relishing each moment
Shivering from the cold
I feel peace settling into me

Twirling in circles
bright colors in the air
snowflakes tickling
the strands of my hair

The cool crisp wind
guiding the dancing leaves home

I saw this photograph
and immediately thought of you
or maybe everything lately
reminds me of you
Maybe in heaven
you are thinking of me too
I love the thought of that

I see you standing tall
within the turbulent tide
and the rest of us,
like returning waves,
clamor at your feet to hide
from all of the thunderstorms of life

You were always protecting us that way
always knowing what to say
and welcoming all the returning waves
into your arms
I miss you mom,
today, everyday, and everyday to come
I miss you washing over me with your arms

~ Priya Patel 🕉,  03/06/22

I'm learning the sky
like leaves understands the breeze
so that I find you

You could be the clouds
here one minute, gone the next
floating past my dreams

You are all my nights
I search for you in the stars
foolishly it seems

My pleading whispers
like an owl on a branch
silently alone

I'll search endlessly
like falling leaves search for ground
so that you come home

~ Priya 🕉,  2/23/22

As the tempermental moods
Of March dissapear
The torrential rains
Of April reappear

May will gladly gift us
With buds and blooms to adore
While June and July showers us
With sunshine galore

August and September promises
Us with the many colors of Fall
While October tries to scare us
Asking ghosts and goblins to call

With November comes endless thanks
For all the love and smiles year long
And now finally December
Christmas cheer to all

I am in love with loving again
of foolishly running in the pouring rain
of a wanting, aching need
to watch the seed of our love grow
Oh how I need you to know
that with only you
can my every dream come true
can the stars in your skies
twinkle bright in my eyes
and the smiles from your lips
become my every sunrise
Only with you
can I fall in love with loving again
in your hands only
I can run in the pouring rain
With you, I can nurture this need
to make the seeds of our love
grow once again

Something new arose today
bloomed right from a stem life planted
A friendship fresh between unknown world's
between the pages of a book seen slanted
Not at all normal
yet completely right,
seeds from words featherlight
a friendship new
right from a stem life planted

I wonder how it must have felt
to feel the icy chill against your cheeks
and the wind against your back
as you loose yourself in serenity
So many different times
I wished it was me;
aching for the peace I could see
in your eyes
like a calming surprise
that just takes your breath away
I see the world fade
as the boat softly sways
and silence sets in
I imagine the soft rush of water
chasing the paddles
as your arms swing back and forth,
moving with the current
and utterly content
watching birds glide
across the bluest of skies;
icy breath into contented sighs  
reflection of wings
seen in the clearest of waters
like a mirror of beauty
never before seen;
cut by the couple paddling a canoe
in the lake

My tale begins in a magnificent place
Where legends are created and given a face
About a little black fish from a far away land
Searching for light in a living space

So mighty the fish to give a hand
To rescue the seas from a darkness unplanned
The rainbow of colors that was once plain to see
replaced with dark shadows floating above sand

The fish named Shazhad was prince of the sea
It was his job to keep bright for all eternity
The living seas by dawn or by night
The absence of light is a mystery

He swam through the dark, such was his plight
Shahzad flied through the water like a bird in flight
Up ahead, something was gleaming in the sand
Finally, the little black fish found his flashlight

In the place of my return
A hummingbird
shall linger in your air
She will flutter
in the locks off your hair
and will kiss the lines on your forehead
caressing you soft as I once did
She will be the laughter you seek
and the smile you live for
as mine once was
In the place of my return
She will become me

In the many silent moments
between us, 
I prayed for the noise of you;
ached for the soft of your voice
and the warmth of your breath,
I missed the kiss of your eyes
and the tiny sighs 
and every sound of you 
that reminded me you were mine 
In the many silent moments apart, 
my heart screamed in pain 
Slowly,  I began to wilt 
and all the castles together we built,
suddenly seemed so far away 

Until you called me .... 
and all the silent moments between us, 
melted away 

~ Priya 🕉 Aug 16, 2020

Time has seized to exist
My heart frozen like
Icicles on a once flowing stream
I am to mourn you
But it is me I mourn
I am to bury you
But it is me
Who wishes to be buried
Empty faces staring, pointing
Shaking their heads at my loss
We had just laughed, just touched
And now you have just left...
It is time now, I cannot move
As a testament to our love
A steady stream of
silent tears I shed. Goodbye.

Sometimes I see her
as an apparition before me,
finger wagging
smiling that smile;
walking across the broken tile
in the kitchen we no longer use

Sometimes I can sense her
in the leaves outside
rustling with pride
at the funny ways
my kids make dad laugh;
and I miss her

Sometimes I hear her;
a whisper in my ear
reminding me to be softer,
to have patience, smile more
asking me to read her my poems
and to breathe a little space

And sometimes I can feel her
holding my hand
soft like wet sand,
warm and inviting
and I wish I could just
close my eyes and hold her

Sometimes ...

© Priya Patel 9/18/2015

Soon, sleep soon

Soon,  my eyes will grow tired,
tired of staring at imaginative shadows
and the tiny specs of lights
from here and there;
tired of the sounds coming
from God knows where
and from the hundreds of other
useless excuses that are keeping me
from falling asleep
It would be easier to weep,
to drown in a thousand
stress filled tears;
the same ones threatening
to spill for years;
but just won't
How ironic my life has become;
smiling, laughing, and crying
all in the same breath of air,
a carnival ride of what is
and isn't fair
I've grown used to the shadows
and the tiny specs of light
Even the many imaginative sounds
have become used to me
tossing and turning
like the troubled waves
of a turbulent sea

Soon, my eyes will grow tired


~ Priya 9/29/2020 🕉

Listen to the soft sounds of my soul
the fall, rise, and crash of
wave against wave of emotions

What do you hear?

At times I hear doubts
I walk through adversity
somtimes I crawl
many times I fall
but always sprawl
my way back to the top

I listen to the soft sounds of my soul
the rhythmic dancing of
doubts and decisions

I hear life whispering
for me to step forward
So I walk on two legs weak
to fate

Listen soft
What sounds does your soul make

© Priya Nov 5, 2015

I gazed upon a bed
of trampled weeds
and early blooms;
their bodies crushed
and soft white petals
wilted to the ground
For them,
fear was their only sound
A few brave stems,
wavering in an effort to stand tall
desperately helping
the others to not fall,
dripped of strength and courage
I swayed fearlessly
with them in the softest breeze
as a new rain sprinkled
them with hope

It is for them that I pray tonight

Do you ever see me
in your starry nights,
just after the street noise dies
amongst the many dimming lights
and all that you feel is this quietness
Perhaps that quiet is me
wrapping you in a blanket of peace
or that sudden breeze
in the shivering leaves,
that could be me kissing your cheeks
In the sky immence
and on your darkest of nights
that shimmering star
behind the dimming street lights
high up in the sky
is me
There are no miles
or oceans or obstacles between us
that can keep me from lighting your path;
just look for me in your starry nights
That shimmering star is me

~ Priya 🕉 Feb 20, 22

Stillness

Moments stood still
silent; never wavering
like how eyes sometimes do
I too am still
standing, falling, shrinking
deceptive like the moon
there then not there
shining bright
then dark as night
When moments stand still
I am reminded
that what may be
may not
__________


There is a point where in the mystery of existence contradictions meet; where movement is not all movement and stillness is not all stillness; where the idea and the form, the within and the without, are united; where infinite becomes finite, yet not” 

-Rabindranath Tagore

The time has taken so many twisted paths
so many moments and memories
and yet, between us, with all the time passed
I imagine you still the same

The rare smile that would light up the sky
and the rough of your hands against soft
A blue plaid shirt and the twinkle in your eye
I imagine you still the same

Now new moments and memories will come to tide
a chance to absorb the joys and pains passed
a bond that even time cannot divide
Because in the end, we are truly the same

Clouds bunched together
in a somber embrace,
sheilding themselves with
raining showers
just like the ones that
that fell to my face,
just like that morning
after her funeral
Streaks of lightening,
and a thundering storm
fearless showers
out of the norm
hiding the tears now streaming
down my cheeks
Tonight the winds howl;
the rains pound against my heart
as another was taken from this earth;
another family torn apart
Minutes into hours
I lie awake, grief stricken;
for me, for them
for the tears
that stream down my cheeks
and the pillows soft they fall on;
the pillows that have now
become my shoulders

Such is life

Only life,
in all its vibrant colors
and peculiar shapes,
can grab you
by the whisp of your hair
Only life can hurl
you into a tragic doom
when there was once
happiness in the air
and then sudden gloom

Take for example,
the quaking grounds
of a now old Nepal
or the silent road
that suddenly
engulfed my mother
and took her
from everything sweet;
took away the pillars of me
that lie in her feet

Or perhaps the children maimed
in Afghanistan
to prove a religiously
political point
And the children that should be playing
are now training to do the slaying
In another country,
same moment as one's death,
a child is born.  Rebirth
Life is funny that way,
amazingly sweet
and bitter too;
so easy to misconstrue

Today's breath
can be so easily distorted
and lapse silently
into tomorrow's emptiness

Such is life

I'm sorry if the tears of me
are staining your pages
What sky do you know
bleeds sunshine everyday?
Even the clouds
need a healthy cry;
a common ground
for the raindrops to dry
But rest assured,
my rainbow is just
beyond the horizon

© Priya ॐ 7/2

The word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.

~  Carl Jung

Somewhere dazzling,
across a crimson horizon
between the rising of the tides
and the setting of the sun
is the blue hour
I am there now
laying in the clouds
flying through my dreams
or floating on lily pads
in blue green streams
basking in the peace of silence
Oceans of waves
lapping at my feet
away from the hustle
alone in my retreat
This is where I can be found;
humming between the delicate folds
of the rising tides and the setting sun,
soft in the mist of my blue hour

~ Priya Patel 🕉 , March 7, 22