I'm sorry if the tears of me
are staining your pages
What sky do you know
bleeds sunshine everyday?
Even the clouds
need a healthy cry;
a common ground
for the raindrops to dry
But rest assured,
my rainbow is just
beyond the horizon

© Priya ॐ 7/2

The word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.

~  Carl Jung

My words today
are soft like silk
and warm like the honey
that kisses your lips
Perhaps from there
my words will sip
They become the  
devine intertwine
of consonants and vowels
like fingers twirling through
the strands of my hair
Today I will smile into the air
and from the corner of my eyes
poetry will drip
filling your pages with me

© Priya ॐ 6/29

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds.

~ Percy Bysshe Shelley

Our silence echoes
like the annoying drip
of a leaking faucet
Yesterday mine,
perhaps, today yours
Both of us entangled
in this vortex of life
Our lives intertwined
like the familiar curling
of branches in a tree
We are, in one moment,
the subtle waves that crash
in a peaceful hum at the shore
but then drifts off in an endless sea
We are together yet oceans apart
Both so busy with our
everyday stresses
Every moment spent
on life's unexpected messes
And so we listen
as the soft ticking
of time passes us by
I miss you
I miss who you were
when she was still here
I miss just sitting with you
and watching hours of TV,
even the silly moments
when all we do is laugh
I miss all the moments we loose
while we are oceans apart
I wish she was here
but shes not
and I really need you back

A lifetime of moments
spread like tiny seeds
scattered at her feet
Learning, growing
smiling, crying
laughter and tears
giggles and fears
and all the ups and downs
of a girl with stars in her eyes
and dreams in her skies
A lifetime of moments
spread like tiny seeds
scattered by innocent feet
so she can bloom
like blue in the spring
and purple in the fall
She has now blossomed
into a flower of all seasons

She is Payal...

I wonder what he hides
behind those smiling lies
and the warm creeping blush
that shades his eyes

I wonder if he knows
that I can see

I wonder what he sees
when he looks at me
the flushed cheeks
and hesitant goodbyes
quivering lips
from wasted lies

I wonder what he sees*

© Priya Patel, 1/29/16

The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart.
~ St. Jerome

Fall leaves 

The leaves appear distressed
angrily rustling 
frantically whispering 
lashing out at the branches
that once held them strong 
Their path has changed course 
from a tree of life 
it is now each leaf for itself 
and soon the leaves will Fall 

© ~ Priya, 9/5/16

A story of love

46 years ago and on this day
a story was ready to begin
A dashing hero
meets the love of his life
and weds a stunning heroine
Each day, a new page was born
with words and memories
into pictures to adorn
the hearts of two star crossed lovers
So very much different
but alike in their love
forever climbing
beyond and above
to ensure the rest of us
was taken care of
In that, they were so alike
In that, their love remains alive
He was her hero
and she his heroine
A story of true love
that will never end

The story of my mom and dad ...

ॐ Priya Patel

The sun and the sands breath me in
the ocean breeze sings me a duet
I lie on the edge of wet and dry
the salty air humming for me to forget
My world is now in the ocean sand
the cool water so easily opens its hand
and I simply let myself go ...

Another day another hour  
lost in the hum drum  
of everyday life
I am a mother, a daughter,  
partner by your side
I never say it enough
never share what I feel
never tell you how much  I adore you,
I truly do
Your simple ways,
and the smile in your eyes  
You are the **** sporty realistic spice  
that I fall in love with day after day
There is so much I feel and not enough
words to convey how much
I truly adore you
I truly do
There is no glam or glitz
or fairytale blitz
but there is trust and love
and years of support;
an unspoken desire  
that I somehow distort
But I want you to know
after all these years
you still are the flame  to my fire...

© Priya Patel Feb 28, 2016

I tasted the bitterness of hurt this week;
not at all meek
Pungent almost with smells of disappointment,
a lingering aftertaste of a trust misplaced;
a friendship in waste
A creation needlessly created
A reaction overly reacted
Now who is protected,
the friend or the friendship wasted?
As always, innocence is once again lost
It is nothing short of the bitter truth

- Priya

I listened to his gurgling  
bubble of words with animated eyes  
and flailing arms  
as he told me about his day
His smile as wide and bright as his story
soft in his innocent way  
and I watched him fall asleep
So sweet he is
this beautiful child of mine

© Priya, March 1, 2016

Listen to the soft sounds of my soul
the fall, rise, and crash of
wave against wave of emotions

What do you hear?

At times I hear doubts
I walk through adversity
somtimes I crawl
many times I fall
but always sprawl
my way back to the top

I listen to the soft sounds of my soul
the rhythmic dancing of
doubts and decisions

I hear life whispering
for me to step forward
So I walk on two legs weak
to fate

Listen soft
What sounds does your soul make

© Priya Nov 5, 2015

she sets the sun soft
twirling her brush 
across darkening skies
spreading her wings
in a daily surprise
of beauty in the eyes
of the world
a rustling of leaves
a swirl of her sleeves
a breeze in the wind
a gentle reprieve
in the pinks and blues 
of her brush
a gentle blush 
she paints
across our whispering skies 

© Priya 10/20/2015

Brightly colored corridors
decorated with a child's
imagination
The hopes of animation
upon tiny weeping faces
So many places
they could be
so many things to see
if only they were free 
from this place
But they are here 
A Children's Hospital
for kids that are ill
feeding from pill to pill
Tiny bodies everyday 
fighting wars with tears
killing and creating new fears 
dreams chopped short 
with silent shears 
Orders and disorders
cancers and disease 
brightly colored corridors
hoping to deceive
the raging wars within
So much stronger they are
then me 
This was where I've been 
Humbling and crumbling 
watching them stumbling 
and feeling myself 
falling to the ground
moments so very profound 
realizing how truly blessed I am ...


© Priya Oct 4, 2015

I seemed to have lost a part of myself
in my search for a better me
Perhaps I have been hunting blindly
It is hunt you know, almost a chase
through intricate emotions
Scurrying past my lost innocence;
bypassing everything I thought to be me
Seeing only what I wanted to see
Now I am a lost in a forest of fears,
drowning myself in a fountain of tears
Perhaps my search has come to an end;
I can no longer pretend
The better me is already here
Take me as I am

Its the silent nights
I've come to dread
the silent sewing
of needle and thread
stiching my tearfilled wounds
I am a hero by day
and rag doll by night
torn and falling apart
unable to reach light
I am a cause
that seems to be lost

© Priya Oct 15, 2015

you like awake in bed,
sultry words wrapped
in your head
like the bondages
you've created for me

can you feel

I try to push
your thoughts away
but the words you say
and the insistent way
your fingers play
with my mind

the way you, me find

The bonds too tight
touching me just right
just enough to keep me
bound to you...

Sometimes I see her
as an apparition before me,
finger wagging
smiling that smile;
walking across the broken tile
in the kitchen we no longer use

Sometimes I can sense her
in the leaves outside
rustling with pride
at the funny ways
my kids make dad laugh;
and I miss her

Sometimes I hear her;
a whisper in my ear
reminding me to be softer,
to have patience, smile more
asking me to read her my poems
and to breathe a little space

And sometimes I can feel her
holding my hand
soft like wet sand,
warm and inviting
and I wish I could just
close my eyes and hold her

Sometimes ...

© Priya Patel 9/18/2015

Good morning, I breath out
to the early morning air
a brewing wind
weaving through my hair
kissing the lids
to eyes of hope
A new day is here

It was her, in ribbons of gold
masking the swirls of darkness
playing in fields of fear and loneliness
hiding behind those beautiful blue eyes
The smiles were all lies;
a makeup to cover the encrusted pain,
and now she plays again

Crippling

How crippling life may be
when gnarled thoughts
and broken dreams
leave you stunted
into silence

She was a dazzling bloom
a daffodil amongst thorns
until the wheels of life
trampled her
into the ground

Leaving me alone
with pictures and memories
and silent, pent up tears
trying so hard to accept
the absence of her smile

How crippling life may be
when everything you admired
is gone

© Priya Patel 9/16/2015

Opportunity came by today
completely unaware
Neatly packaged in silver and gold
hope perhaps,  a prayer
Aching desires to do what's right
to do for me for a change -
a feeling so utterly strange

Truth be told,
I'm not yet 100% sold
and opportunity has visited
a lot as of late
Perhaps I should count my blessings
and patiently, silently wait
Perhaps opportunity
has finally found me
Let's see

Perhaps I am someone else's key...

© Priya Patel 6/4/2015

A forgiving grey
Black and white together sway
until the next rain
A forgiving grey
Moody clouds come out and play
a forboding and colorless sky
Black and white together sway
A forgiving grey

© Priya Patel 6/1/2015

And so the days
are truly passing by
like the slowest floating
clouds in the sky
77 days to be exact
So many days
since I heard her voice
or see her smile
It's been a long while
It's all different now
each moment of every day
never sure what to say
or how I'm supposed to feel,
how I'm supposed to heal
The joys are not so joyful
the grief so much more
never sure
what the day has in store
for my heart
I see dad crumbling
with each day passing by
His tears I can now taste
in the corners of my eye
and he doesn't even know
And so the days
are truly passing by
like the slowest floating
clouds in the sky
and I still can't help but ask why
why her
why

It's whispering time
when backs are turned and words flow
Each smile is a show

I wonder with birds,
do they chirp incessantly
we smile foolishly

We think it's their song
Love notes in the midnight air
laughing unaware

We become their toy
A mocking ground for love birds
we hang on their words

This is how we are
Spring to summer smiles for show
In the end, it snows

© Priya Patel 5/29/2015

I am a blur of emotions;
the colored dots of freckles
that scatter freely in the air
and I am sometimes the knots
that get tangled in your hair,
desperately trying to come undone
I am the mystery in a love affair,
like the wild midnight mane
of a dancing horse
spinning round and round
before tumbling gently
to the soft of ground
I am the imagination of a canvas
ready to be painted me

© Priya Patel 5/26/15

Once again, I have been robbed,
and that which I needed the most
is now in the hands of fate
My eyes have begun to self dilate,
unable to open and unable stay closed
I am hidden yet very much exposed
Sleep has somehow
become a dream of the past
I have been robbed of my senses
unable to feel or taste
anything other than
an empty space;
anything other than exhaustion
Perhaps I shall fall;
maybe then I will be able to sleep

Quietly, I sat there
in that big, black chair,
the one she always sat in
and out of nowhere,
I watched dad cry
Pools of tears
all 69 years
shown on his face
crumbling
mumbling
my heart breaking
as he cried for the wife he lost
He started reciting
her every last words
what she wore
and how she felt
I sat there quietly
in that ******* chair
the one she always sat in
and out of nowhere,
I watched my daddy melt
Not knowing what to say
or how to feel
Never before felt
so helpless...

Something new arose today
bloomed right from a stem life planted
A friendship fresh between unknown world's
between the pages of a book seen slanted
Not at all normal
yet completely right,
seeds from words featherlight
a friendship new
right from a stem life planted

Today met yesterday
a little too early this morning
Sleep still floating in my eyes
like clouds in the skies
hesitant to clamor open;
not at all eager to embrace the day
Eager more to slumber the quiet away
Weekends are hard, harder I think
This time then, before she left
we would be planning an adventurous trip
Midland, Abilene, Dallas perhaps
A getaway to simply relax
and treasure every moment spent together
Today baseball game, and then another
a city kids event and movie later
Another day with the kids
but without you
Miss you mom,
today, everyday

The silence has settled in
In a plea for noise,
I scream from my heart
but only my ears can hear

Life is slow moving now;
slow to begin and crawling to end
My mask is fading
and I can no longer pretend
that everything is okay

It's not okay, I'm hurting
but I no longer feel alone
and although this is not easy;
and very hard to understand,
so many have reached out to me
to help me and to hold my hand
So many that wants to help me accept

Everything is not okay
but I no longer feel alone

Clouds bunched together
in a somber embrace,
sheilding themselves with
raining showers
just like the ones that
that fell to my face,
just like that morning
after her funeral
Streaks of lightening,
and a thundering storm
fearless showers
out of the norm
hiding the tears now streaming
down my cheeks
Tonight the winds howl;
the rains pound against my heart
as another was taken from this earth;
another family torn apart
Minutes into hours
I lie awake, grief stricken;
for me, for them
for the tears
that stream down my cheeks
and the pillows soft they fall on;
the pillows that have now
become my shoulders

What became of the bubbling brook
that was once the laughter of my lips
and the tickling humor I always had
and the sassy way I would swing my hips
Where did I go
I cannot be lost in my nitingale dreams
for it has been ages since I've slept it seems
I'm no longer singing in the rains
or flying in planes
to meet my knight in shining armour;
although he waits for me patiently
for even he can see
that I've simply lost myself in grief
It would be so much easier to reprieve
but he's steadfast by my side
waiting for this phase to subside
But I'm lost
and nobody is able to find me

What I wouldn't do
to be a fly on my own walls,
The very same walls
of built up frustration,
hurt and pain;
these walls of mine
are back again
I want to see what others see
and feel what they feel
when they see me
I want to know how I am
so I can find myself again

I gazed upon a bed
of trampled weeds
and early blooms;
their bodies crushed
and soft white petals
wilted to the ground
For them,
fear was their only sound
A few brave stems,
wavering in an effort to stand tall
desperately helping
the others to not fall,
dripped of strength and courage
I swayed fearlessly
with them in the softest breeze
as a new rain sprinkled
them with hope

It is for them that I pray tonight

Such is life

Only life,
in all its vibrant colors
and peculiar shapes,
can grab you
by the whisp of your hair
Only life can hurl
you into a tragic doom
when there was once
happiness in the air
and then sudden gloom

Take for example,
the quaking grounds
of a now old Nepal
or the silent road
that suddenly
engulfed my mother
and took her
from everything sweet;
took away the pillars of me
that lie in her feet

Or perhaps the children maimed
in Afghanistan
to prove a religiously
political point
And the children that should be playing
are now training to do the slaying
In another country,
same moment as one's death,
a child is born.  Rebirth
Life is funny that way,
amazingly sweet
and bitter too;
so easy to misconstrue

Today's breath
can be so easily distorted
and lapse silently
into tomorrow's emptiness

Such is life

Finally, a gentle reprieve
warm, comforting arms
engulfing me
helping me to grieve
helping me believe
that everything will be ok
This new road has just started
and the journey is long
Right now I'm in limbo
I don't seem to belong
to anything but a deep emptiness
But he is here now
arms wide and warm smile
Perhaps now, everything will be ok

Another day has come and gone;
a Tuesday forlorn
The sunlight hid behind clouds of grey
Raindrops sprinkled throughout the day
Another gloomy day for sure
Until I felt a whisper soft
against my shoulders wide
I snuggled within my mothers cardigan
and could feel her by my side
Her arms warm across my waist
A whispers kiss against my face
I could feel her by my side
Raindrops sprinkled still
throughout the day
and the sunlight hid
behind clouds of grey
but I felt her whisper soft
and I truly felt her by my side
I love you mom

Respond
squeeze tight my hand
blink soft your eyes just once
show me you are fighting, or else
I'll break

Reply
twitch your fingers
to the sounds of my voice
show me somehow, someway, or else
I'll break

Release
me from your pain
the sadness in your eyes
I feel in me mom, and for you
I ache

Wake up
speak to me soft
shake my hand, scream out loud
get up from that bed now!  But please
don't quit

Bleeding heart

Her hands are soft and leather worn
and her heart is beating strong,
but she is torn
Bones are scattered,
ribs shattered
and then the other matters
She is fighting for her life, my mom
Through all the pain
and incredible fears,
I have yet to see her tears
but I can feel them through her eyes
I can hear her silent cries
When she squeezes my hand
and squint her eyes -
my heart sighs
Her tears I can feel
her pain I can only imagine
I just want her to know I am here
My heart is bleeding in fear
I just want my mom back at home

He tickled my feathers,
teased and caressed them;
fanned the beauty of my plumes
perfectly, until I was the perfect
way he wanted me to be
and then trampled me to the ground
How clearly I remembered his sound,
his thunderous roar
with the hunger of a lion,
his hunger for my peace,
his insatiable desire
to have complete control of me
But I fought back;
perhaps only in the end
when all of my feathers
were but a wilted lament
of what was once me
I fought silently,
no blood or tears
and certainly no fears
I simply walked away

~ Priya 3/21/15

Like a butterfly,
my heart flies away
to a place afar
where only emotions exist;
a place where love has kissed
The fragrance of its feelings
is sweet like the nectar of dew
on blades of grass new
just after Springs' first rain;
a taste that lingers
time and again
You sing me a love song
with the poetry you write
and your eyes pearce my heart
with the words you say
Even the birds can't help but sway
Like a butterfly,
my heart does fly away
to a place afar
with the words of our love song

~ Priya 3/20/15

Wrinkles in the corner
of eyes aged with life
and crinkles for all the
laughter and tears shared
Almost seventy years young
he has carried me strong
a lifetime of burdens
he has bared
His shoulders wide
as mountain tops high
with welcoming arms
the span of the sky;
He carries his burdens
and stresses all on his own;
only laughter and smiles
does he show;
he is truly the most remarkable
man I know
So with heavy heart
and crystal tears,
I dedicate this to my papa
who has carried me
for so many years
I just want to say
I love you...

I am walking again
on two feet weak,
even words are hard to speak
and so I write
I am wobbly at best
The strength of me
is being put to test
and I can feel myself
f a l l I n g

Carry me

Hold me up against
these winds of hell
Help me out of this
crumbling shell
I'm ready to stand
two feet strong;
ready to right the wrong

Carry me

Like a rustling brook,
let me be the soft
of a moving current
that carries me to peace

Carry me ...

Your smile lingering
longingly
like a gentle breeze
frolicking in trees
Your gaze entrancing
tempting, mesmerizing
engaging me in a lovers dance
The warmth of desire
from your smoky brown eyes
a duet of stars
sparkling in the skies
Your hands on my hips
the warmth of your lips
sensually intoxicating me
with your gentle sips
seducing my senses
with just a touch of you

This time tomorrow
there will be no more tears,
and the warmth of your arms
will soften all fears
This time tomorrow,
I will lie awake in your embrace;
the warmth of your breath
on the soft of my face
I shall watch you sleep;
our arms and legs lovingly entwine
safe in your arms
knowing that you are all mine
This time tomorrow ...

In the moments of silence
that follow in the wake of your absence,
my ears shatter a thousand times
A thousand times I hear your name,
ache for your whisper
in the soft of my ear;
ache for you to be here
At times, I am alone in my thoughts;
alone in the dark of night
And when all is quiet
but the screams of your silence,
I hear your name a thousand times
Come home, I need you…

You were my moment of weakness
unsuspecting, unknowingly
relentless with your charm
triggering my hearts alarm
Years of building walls
hours spent reminding myself
that the doors to love have closed
then you come along
and suddenly I'm exposed
Opening doors
knocking down walls
falling in love beneath waterfalls
just as we were drowning
in hurt and pain
love comes knocking again
You were my moment of weakness
and now my life is just moments
beneath waterfalls
falling in love all over again

In the place of my return
A hummingbird
shall linger in your air
She will flutter
in the locks off your hair
and will kiss the lines on your forehead
caressing you soft as I once did
She will be the laughter you seek
and the smile you live for
as mine once was
In the place of my return
She will become me

I watch in a silent reverie
the face staring back at me
the eyes sunken in pain
and then I cry again
This can't be me
I trace the place
with my fingertips
where once there was a smile
and now only misery
This can't be me

This can't be the pain I see
I trusted you
But you hurt me
Left me in pain while I sat in the rain
Caused so much to change
You went away
You did your own thing
Left me in this place
Broken and abused
Searching for the light
This can't be me