I cried tonight
Soft pillows for which tears to fall
I felt the pent up strains
the aches and pains
drip softly down my cheeks
Does this make me weak?
Then let it be
Let it be me
that's screams aloud
through the tears
of pent up fears
that falls softly upon my cheeks

harsh rains soak through me
suddenly refertilized
once again I bloom

my roots awakened
the child in me comes alive
dancing in the rain

Upon a bed of bursting orange
and golden yellow leaves
A pattern forms upon the ground
that nature gently weaves

I watch as they slowly pirouette
to their final resting place

My feet softly crunching on
the jewels of fall
from splendid trees so tall

Relishing each moment
Shivering from the cold
I feel peace settling into me

Twirling in circles
bright colors in the air
snowflakes tickling
the strands of my hair

The cool crisp wind
guiding the dancing leaves home

Your lips
Your eyes
Touching me
Seeing me
As only you can
Sweetest, softest touch
You against me
Desire for desire
Taking me away
From anything not you
Your lips
Your eyes
Whisper soft
Whisper me
On my neck
In my heart
Eyes closed
You are
My sweetest taboo...

My eyes are at rest
lashes twinkling
with unwashed diamonds
I can cry now
I have a bed of hope
for which my tears may lay
arms wider than life
for which my fears can play
Pain has no home here
I can float astray
the sweet scent of peace
lifting me away
You are my river
and I, your waves
Together we shall float away

she lived in the darkest recesses
of here and there
fragile and alone,
not quite new
but young enough
to have been pricked by
the stings of neglected pain
she was a discarded bloom
left unnoticed;
parched from the drought of love

so I rescued her;
this beautiful flower
tossed aside
with no way to blossom
into the rose she is today

I am in love with loving again
of foolishly running in the pouring rain
of a wanting, aching need
to watch the seed of our love grow
Oh how I need you to know
that with only you
can my every dream come true
can the stars in your skies
twinkle bright in my eyes
and the smiles from your lips
become my every sunrise
Only with you
can I fall in love with loving again
in your hands only
I can run in the pouring rain
With you, I can nurture this need
to make the seeds of our love
grow once again

Always lingering, longingly
Like leaves frolicking in trees
Your gaze entraps me
Tempting me
Mesmerizing me
Engaging me in a lovers dance
Seducing my senses
Only you, only you

She is the tickle behind my ear
whispering love from afar
offering hope and faith
best wishes for us all

I see pictures of her
smiling laughing drinking
She is beautiful in her mask
Her mask ... she wears it well

Behind; tear stained cheeks
permanently scarred heart
eyes as bleak as withered snow
She is lost, I cannot find her

Saddened by life's choices
dying from a broken heart
a loss of hope, of will
She is giving up

But I love her with all my heart....

Time trickles by
agonizingly slow
tick tock tick tock
frustrations grow
They are playing the waiting game

Stung by fate
life's little trick
the sweetest boy
so very sick
Tick tock tick tock, time is just a game

Hands aged with fears
bound tight; she prays
fingers shivering
a grandmother softly says
God keep him safe and end this waiting game

Friends and family
kneel down in faith
praying together
In God's love they bathe
Knowing soon that time is almost here

Fate is fate
and we are all bound by destiny
but in my heart of hearts
I pray that he will be
your happy, healthy grandson once again

*to Wanda, you and your grandson are in our prayers

She is as beautiful
as butterflies in Spring
Her hair flutters in the breeze;
a gentle sneeze
from the soft blowing winds
She is beautiful; she is ...
Her skin glows golden
like daffodils at summers end
and just as flowers often do,
she blooms
In a world of trampled
black and white weeds,
she truly is as beautiful
as butterflies in Spring

*to my beautiful neice Nikita

In the midnight of our days
there is no moon
for me to gaze upon
No whispering willows
or symphonies of the night
Just the blaring days sun
blindingly bright
In the midnight of our days,
there is no quiet of the night
The silent hue of stars
no where in sight
The humdrum of the day
becomes wrapped
like a regifted package;
boring and forgotten
passed on
like one moment to the next
In the midnight of our days
I day dream
of chirping crickets
and hooting owls
of whispering willows
and lone wolf howls
In the midnight of our days
I ache for the peacefulness
of the night

Fear not my eyes
for they are a sea of happy memories
that will bewilder you renderless
but also an ocean of sadness
that will mute even your sighs
Fear not the pockets of stress
pooling with unbrimmed tears
for there are also golden specs
of laughter and gem stones smiles
Fear not my eyes
for they are the only
windows to see me in

Stillness

Moments stood still
silent; never wavering
like how eyes sometimes do
I too am still
standing, falling, shrinking
deceptive like the moon
there then not there
shining bright
then dark as night
When moments stand still
I am reminded
that what may be
may not
__________


There is a point where in the mystery of existence contradictions meet; where movement is not all movement and stillness is not all stillness; where the idea and the form, the within and the without, are united; where infinite becomes finite, yet not” 

-Rabindranath Tagore

Wondering thoughts

Sometimes,
in the quiet of the night
I allow my thoughts
to wonder free
to let my thoughts
just be
To play dress up
with faith, hope,
and happiness too;
and sometimes my thoughts
just want to be blue
and thats ok too
In the quiet of the night
my thoughts become super hero's
and I lie there patiently
just waiting to be saved

Change

I am tradition
A creature of habit
All white; no shady grays
Definately set in my ways
I fear the colors of change
and the silent unknowns
I am sometimes an
uncompromisable bag of bones

But what if...
What if I was to change
to eat the words
I can so easily dish out
To change the way I think
about whatever your upset about
To become once again
the flower you fell in love with once
instead of the unbending branch
I have become

I have hurt you I know
however unintentionally so
But I'm telling you now
I'm not ready to let go
Give me the chance
to turn things around
to remind you of all the
sweet things that keep us
tightly bound

Let me show you
that I too
can change

words tumbled loosely
from a tongue bitter with rage
forced to hear lies
his anger misplaced  
he will always see her mother
when he looks in her eyes
blind to her fear
deaf to her cries
to him, she is just another reminder
of hatred

Stunned and silent, I can no longer feel

My hands tightly gripping the steering wheel

Your hands are cold around my throat

Why must I be the sacrificial goat

Why was it me you chose to follow

Death is imminent, hard to swallow




Silently I drive, my screams are within

Blade of a knife now piercing my skin

You ask for me to stop the car

But I have no idea where we are

Skies are black and the trees block all light

I am tied and blindfolded to impair my sight




My door creaks open and the cold air rushes in

he pulls me out, the ties cut into my skin

Dear God, I pray, please get me out

Give me the strength to try and shout

May someone hear me and set me free

From this man I once knew, now new to me




He drags me across sharp branches and stones

I scream from the pain as rocks cut-into my bones

I give up now as the darkness pulls me under

Outside all I hear is the sound of loud thunder

This man who preaches now committing a sin

He rips off my clothes, it is time now to begin




He is going to **** me, I am scared and cold

His hands touch my skin and I suddenly feel old

Old and weak with nothing but despair

As he drags me down and pulls back my hair

As I fight to keep him from touching me

He punches me over and over

and for once I can see




A bright light just ahead, asking me to come in

Silently I whisper,

forgive me father,

for I must have sinned

You came to me

like a whisper in my ear;

soft and subtle

with a hint of more

Like my faithful shadow,

you walk beside me;

learning and loving

the many paths

that I have walked

Take my hand

and let us stroll

down the paths

that together

we have created

Let me learn and love you

as you have so openly

loved me

Alone in the dark

Light bounces where you have been

Your scent still lingers

Where I lay my head at night

I dream of you in my arms

If, from a distance so vast
With the spell you have cast
A few words from your lips
Makes my heart perform flips
Imagine, what you do in my arms

How deep the cut
from the blade
in your words;
the stabbing jolt
of an unrequited love
My screaming walls
a resurrection
of hurt and shame
Is that blood in your tears
Don't! Your pity is silence enough

Lost completely in thoughts
not unusually so
Reminiscing those first moments
beneath a canopy of snow
A nervous first glance
That look in your eyes
I think we both knew
we were in for a surprise
Do you remember
that first kiss
unexpectedly new
The shock of realizing
I was seducing you
I was shocked too
Do you remember
walking in the clouds
of frozen waterfalls with me
Kissing on a bench
beneath a tall willow tree
Shivering from the cold
you held me in your arms
Birds watching from above
as you weaved your charms
Setting off all
of loves alarms
Lost completely in thoughts
not unusually so
Reminiscing each and every moment
after that first hello

Months has drifted by

achingly slow

agonizingly so

and yet I remember

each moment

clearer now then even then

Distances toll

The hurt and pain

frustrations bleeding stain

You left me then

in a world unknown

Masked goodbyes

and feeling alone

Weaknesses suddenly

peering from dark corners

That is life, part of love

acknowledging, accepting

understanding, forgiving...

I am still drowning

from all the little things left unsaid

Like I love everything about you

all of you, exactly the way you are

So many life altering moments

in both our lives since then

So many times I wanted to hold you

and whisper I love you again and again

So many times

I just wanted to hold your hand

Here we are again

just a few days more

and all my words

will come out tumbling;

no more fumbling

Just you and I

sharing our love together

I am here once again
Flying the friendly skies
Searching through clouds
For a glimpse of you
I've been here before
so many times
Always with excitement
For a journey new

Anxious for the moment
To see your smile once again
To feel the love in your eyes
To be lost in your embrace
It's not the same this time
You will not be at the gate
Your eyes will not be searching
in a crowd for my anxious face

I miss you
A journey without you
Is like water without ice
A journey bland like
Tea without sugar or
A dish with no spice
It's just not the same....

You are me
A diamond in the rough
and an unpolished gem
Rough around the edges:
sparkles hidden by worn
patches of life
Lost in the hum drum
of broken hopes and dreams
separated by stretches of land;
yet somehow, united on a whim

You are me
A mixture of soils and faiths
A terra cotta ***
planted with seeds of hope
You are the stem
to my blooming petals
Grounding me, nourishing me
together we are the Earth's rose

You are me
Hummingbirds of hope
and lovebirds in the spring
We are a paradise of believes
in an ocean sparkling blue
filled with all our
dreams come true

A picnic in the park
a leaf with a breeze
hibiscus and vanilla
an afternoon tease
Sweet lemonade
under a shade of oak trees
hummingbird duet
with buzzing bumblebees
Teardrop kisses
a gentle love bite
you and I laughing
what a beautiful site
A few filtered moments
just you and I
spring flowers and bluebirds
under a clear blue sky

A violet sky
     across horizons new
Shimmering fish
     swim across oceans blue
Birds chirp
     in unison, as if on cue
And I can only
     think of you

Noble and strong
Out of nowhere a knight
Rode into my darkness
And filled me with light

Slowly he dared
To enter that place
Where I had been hiding
Afraid to show face

A dungeon of sorts
Hiding fear, hurt and pain
He battled with courage
To enkindle again

The nightmare behind me
In sweet dreams I tread
My heart is now burning
I've healed where I've bled

My tale begins in a magnificent place
Where legends are created and given a face
About a little black fish from a far away land
Searching for light in a living space

So mighty the fish to give a hand
To rescue the seas from a darkness unplanned
The rainbow of colors that was once plain to see
replaced with dark shadows floating above sand

The fish named Shazhad was prince of the sea
It was his job to keep bright for all eternity
The living seas by dawn or by night
The absence of light is a mystery

He swam through the dark, such was his plight
Shahzad flied through the water like a bird in flight
Up ahead, something was gleaming in the sand
Finally, the little black fish found his flashlight