pale skin,
colorful soul

i wonder what you would say if..
you knew you shattered my peace of mind.

i wonder what you would say if..
you knew you destroyed my self-confidence.

i wonder what you would say if..
you knew that seeing your face sends a shiver down my spine.

i wonder what you would say if..
you knew what we thought about you now.

i wonder what you would say if..
you knew that you crossed my mind every day.

i wonder what you would say if..
you knew i was simply trying to avoid change.

i wonder what you would say if..
you knew i forced myself to feel something.

i wonder what you would say if..
you knew i used you just like you used me -  but you used me knowingly.

i wonder what you would say if..
you knew that like you, i was just afraid of being alone.

i wonder what you would say if..
the tables were turned on you.

i wonder what you would say if..
*i said i never loved you.

The surgeon asked if I could feel my toes
And for the first time...
*I was afraid to die

I'm finally speaking up
I'm finally letting it out

The miss you’s were misused
The ‘tis you led to tissues.
I know for sure the preaches,
As shore as the beaches
That we weren’t meant to be.

"you've never been in a relationship with a guy before, so of course you're scared."*
no, you don't get it.
i'm not scared of them.
i'm not scared of men, i truly am not.
i'm scared of myself, because i tend to ruin everything i touch instead of
turning it into gold and i'm tired of being the one who breaks and destroys
everything and everyone around me.
i just wanna build and love and create and be filled with joy
instead of constantly feeling like i'm rotting from the inside
out.
is that too much to ask?

I'm not an artist
But when I drew you
I felt drawn to you.

I'm not a musician
But when I played you a tune
I felt we were perfect in tuned.

I'm not a scientist
But when I was synthesizing you
I felt our chemistry and bond strengthened.

I'm not an author
I do not know how to create fictional universes
But I know that my universe is all I have to offer.

I'm not a swimmer
But I would swim a thousand rivers
Against the current just for you.

I'm not a poet
But I would eloquently write of my love
For no one but you.
I'm no Pablo Neruda
But I can make you one promise;
That if I say I love you;
I will love only you.