Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
karen dannette Jan 2013
I use my poetry as an expression of my inner self, my being.  I would love it if you could critique my writing to let me know what I am or am not doing write(right).  I recently lost my boyfriend.. he killed himself and am writing to express my emotion,but anything you can help me with would be most appreciated!!

poetlefemme
Hello... please all poets... read!
karen dannette Jan 2013
Sadness envelops
My heart and soul
Keeping me confined
Choices taking their toll.

Freedom seems so far away
Melting into an abyss of emptiness.
****** parts and organs dying
Not coping well with all of the stress

Something gripping me, leaving me crippled
Tortured by my own worst enemy, myself
Too late for the past, so tainted
Unforgiven, unwanted, enough tears to fill the well.

Never enough, never okay
Seeking revenge, but not today.
Isolated and alone, mortified
The wrongs I’ve done, now need to pay.

Frozen in fear of loss
My heart is protected with walls
Unwilling to trust another
Hemmed within myself, death now calls.

Depression eating me alive
Like a serpent that devours
My time is running out
These are my final hours.

The cycle starts anew
A million nails through my flesh
The misery and pain endure
Now I can only guess.

Clouded judgement causing scars
Leaving me utterly alone again
The past becoming the present
Going back to the sickness that has always been
karen dannette Jan 2013
Captive by fear
Frozen in shock by your death
Missing your guidance
Wondering if you are truly at rest.

Did you get your wings back?
Can you soar in the sky?
You said you were my angel…
So, why did you have to die?

Broken pieces of my empty heart
Forming a puzzle in my soul
Killing me softly, you were right.
This decision has taken its toll.

Somehow frightening, not sure how
I do miss the sparkle in your eyes
I’m so sorry for the pain I caused
We never  got to say goodbye.
karen dannette Jan 2013
Taken by my own illness
Captured by the invisible spirit
Cannot fill this void inside
Capable of nothing, tragic ending

Loathing all that the evil brings
Sickened by the torture inflicted
Forgetting the pain and misery I’ve caused
Fearing that the thing has made me addicted

Conscious deceit turning me into a void
Scratching at the bedpost, secretly captive for eternity
It cant be the end of my life
Now I know that I’ll never really be free.
karen dannette Dec 2012
me
see me
feel me
take me
reel me

hold me
protect me
think you can change me?

forsake me
challenge me
try me
humor me

betray me
forget me
try to love me
As you turn around, I'm gone.
karen dannette Dec 2012
Who do you think you are?
You are no better than me, are you?
Take me and let me see what you are are made of, truly.
I'll keep your secrets for a time.
I'll make you understand what kind of wound heals and what doesn't.
I'll feed you to my ******* dog.


Just because...... I can.
Not the nicest poem,  but how I felt at the time.  Open for feedback and thanks for reading!
karen dannette Dec 2012
I love you, always. I need you...forever.
You always find a way to make me smile.
You give my anger its own style.
Forgive me for all I'm not doing right for you.
Fill me up with your peace, love, patience and joy
And I will forever have your essence within me.
Remember that nothing will come close to the love in my heart
My heart and soul fully respecting you in every way
Next page