Hello Poetry
Submit your work and get some sparkles! Create free account
ells_rosesPoems
let me tell you how it all happened they'll tend to tell you bullies caused it or that everyone has the same experience and it starts because other people forced it to but what i have to tell you is that i did it to myself i'm a turncoat to my own flesh i would look in the mirror and see a gut and suddenly that was all i could see no matter if my calves were toned or my arms were sticks i saw that gut or my curdled thighs and that was all so i'd say i wasn't hungry or i'd "sleep" through a meal and i'd work extra hard at practice pretend i wasn't always run down and even if i'd pass out or struggle to stay awake i'd pretend like it was sleep i was depriving myself of sleep and you know that cycle in every anorexic girl's story where her body bloats before it thins because it's trying to protect her i went harder in that stage so i could lose the weight that made me a 2 instead of 00 and i would cry myself to sleep because i was in pain mental and physical but i couldn't stop the taunts i gave myself my dad would tell my friends to make sure i would eat but i never listened and now i look back and see my former shell-f a self that had no self a self that was only a shell a turncoat anorexic
0
Apr 16, 2018
Apr 16, 2018 at 10:24 AM UTC
turncoat
let me tell you how it all happened they'll tend to tell you bullies caused it or that everyone has the same experience and it starts because other people forced it to but what i have to tell you is that i did it to myself i'm a turncoat to my own flesh i would look in the mirror and see a gut and suddenly that was all i could see no matter if my calves were toned or my arms were sticks i saw that gut or my curdled thighs and that was all so i'd say i wasn't hungry or i'd "sleep" through a meal and i'd work extra hard at practice pretend i wasn't always run down and even if i'd pass out or struggle to stay awake i'd pretend like it was sleep i was depriving myself of sleep and you know that cycle in every anorexic girl's story where her body bloats before it thins because it's trying to protect her i went harder in that stage so i could lose the weight that made me a 2 instead of 00 and i would cry myself to sleep because i was in pain mental and physical but i couldn't stop the taunts i gave myself my dad would tell my friends to make sure i would eat but i never listened and now i look back and see my former shell-f a self that had no self a self that was only a shell a turncoat anorexic
#anorexia#bodyimage#pain#anorexic#sad#cry#dysmorphia#hate#myself#past
ells_roses
Written by
ells_roses
F
Apr 16, 2018
Apr 16, 2018 at 10:24 AM UTC
Request permission to use this poem