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Ghost Flashes

Unjaded swift memories flood my inquisitive mind easily yet forcefully. Seeing you again, watching you smile, hearing your laugh, and sitting on your lap remind me of the games you played with my feeble head. How could you expect a child like me to understand the drama you thrust upon my tiny soul. Who did you think I was? Who did you want me to become? Where was your heart in all of the stories? Where were you when rain beat down my corrupted dreams. And now I know just who you were and what you wanted. Though those day you were my friend still haunt me like the ghost of your past. I still remember it all the taste of your words that poisoned my soul. The smell of your potent dreamless thoughts and solid fears and bravery. The feel of your arms around me when you wanted me to fall for your poor me victimized scenarios. The sound of you breaking my heart each night then again when the sun rose. And most of all I remember watching you tear up everyone and everything in your smooth path. I often get these ghost flashes from being under your so called care and fading from my true self into the transfigured beast you wanted instead.
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Written by
madison-rene
20 / F
Published
Nov 10, 2014
Lines·Words
68·216
Notes

for my father and my "kidnapper"

Tags
#abuse#memories#ptsd
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