And so, you have stopped.

But then do we have to shame this subject, do we push it away at all times? Do we forget you could have fun as well and do we not realize you are unhappy? You don't wish to celebrate life, yet why not?

You are still here and it makes me happy, why not you?
You are my pointer, my rock, I celebrate you, why don't you?

Though you stopped the drinking the illness still eats you up inside and I know because I KNOW it and I have felt it and you can't do or act this way because it waits for a weak moment and then lunges at you like a hungry mountain lion. You can show weakness to all of us, tell us all, but not to the lion. I never in a million years thought I would ask you this but please, rock, keep up your walls.

Keep up your walls and live.