The ache of loneliness is like chloroform on my lips
and I have been beginning to doze off again-
my eyes have grown heavy from these tears that fall
like mustard gas in a world war
I am breathing in this depression once again
and as much as I try to get the oxygen I need
the enemy is weighing down on me.
I reach out my hand for someone else's
but no one is around-
I look and look and look again,
but in the end I am alone
choking on the circumstance I have made for myself,
choking on these words I want to say to you
choking-
the thoughts are pressing against my chest now
trying to remind me that my heart is still beating
trying to taunt me because my heart is still beating
trying to remind me my lungs are still capable of breathing-
but I choke, and I take my vices and cling to them
because they are my only friends,
my safe haven when busy lives
interfere with depressed minds-
I don't want to ******* feel like this.
Every single thing I feel, or do, or say is a mistake
and I wish I could make these hands worth holding
and these words worth reading
and these tears worth suffering for-
but I can't.

The loneliness overwhelms me
and the dark has grown more under my eyes
making a point to let people know "I'm just tired"-
my hair is always a mess these days
because these brushes can't handle the tangled mess
I have made for myself-
and I guess I don't need to be saved anymore
because how can you save someone
that's already too far gone?
I'm too far gone.