And I had to run my own fingers through my hair
because I was alone
I had to watch the movies in empty rooms
and laugh at my own jokes
Sometimes I even held my own hands
because I forgot what it felt like
I had to dry my own tears
and rock myself to sleep at night
I watched as they all laughed and played
from a safe distance I could see
I was just a second option
or third
the fourth
the last
I wanted someone who I could hold
but have them also hold me
I felt greedy wanting love
but I couldn't help it
I would run my fingers through their hair
and I would watch with them the movies
I would laugh at all their jokes
so they never felt alone
like me