There's something knocking at the back of my mind and it sounds like pebbles hitting the nerves if my temporal lobe.
It's tapping in morse code and I can almost hear it singing all those songs I was meant to forget. They're slower though—acoustic and remixed to the dying beat of all our memories.
If I focus on it long enough I could probably pinpoint where it's coming from, but I know I'm just choosing not to. If I focus on it hard enough, I could probably repaint its rainbow splatters on a canvas, but I'm just choosing not to.
If I focus on it long enough, I might just hear your voice again— coated sweet nothings in nothing but syrup, but I'm just choosing not to because
you never chose me, darling.
Even until now, we flinch at the sight of each other rather than letting the light consume us like all the times before.
And maybe I'm just mad at the stars for not giving me some sort of sign or godforsaken comet to warn me from falling for you the first time, or the second, or over and over again
Because it's not fair that you've still got my head spinning when I cut every single piece of red thread that tied us together. It's not fair that you've got me second guessing my present because of the ashes and rotting debris of the past.
There's something knocking at the back of my mind. It's tapping in morse code about all the questions you left hanging in mid-air. The thumping is getting louder and I can't—
I can't make it stop.
gd
It's not fair because I can't stop it. I don't know if I want to. It's all I have left of you.