You sit there with your scotch

reminiscing in the beauty of

the past

Your gaze slightly unfocused,

skin glowing softly in the pale

light of the screen.

I sneak a peak at you before

gulping down my own drink

its iciness chilling me right

down to my toes

Goosepimples erupt haphazardly

on my skin, a warm sensation

rushing up the planes of my

body.

I feel the full force hit my brain

in seconds

throwing my vision off balance

for a few seconds.

I close my eyes and can feel

my heart beat trying

to break the bonds of my ribs.

With a hasty deep breath I

open my eyes once again

admire the beauty of

your face.

One I believe to have been

sculpted lovingly

by Zeus himself.

Your fingers brush against

my skin to gain my

attention.

Their touch ever so slightly,

igniting my own with an

unending thirst.

a thirst only your submission

can quench.

I can see your soft lips move,

words rolling off so gracefully

but I cannot hear them.

I'm lost once again, in the

lines of your face.

You look my way in confusion,

wondering the cause of my

abrupt silence.

A silence I usually filled with

my cheery thoughtless words

that amused you ever so.

Your eyes meet mine and

once again I'm lost.

Drowning in the pools of

those pupils that reflect

the deep sadness of oceans.

My brain stops functioning

going pitch black like the night.

Words weigh a ton

struggling to leave the safety of my lips.

I slowly get up, wobbling

in the daze of alcohol.

My eyes glued to yours,

strung together in an

invisible connection

I cannot decipher.

My hand reaches out for yours

trembling in anticipation and

fear of the unknown path I've

set forth on.

Your hand finds mine in that

pale light and holds it firm,

reassuring my movements.

Your eyes still fixed on mine.

I move too quickly in my

excitement

tripping on your carelessly

thrown t-shirt.

Immediately your other hand

shoots out

grabbing my waist painfully

in an attempt to steady

me.

Yet I fall nonetheless

straight onto your lap, the

plastic chair creaking in protest

at the added weight.

And then once again there is

silence.

A silence

soon broken by the

sleepy mumblings of a

passed out friend which

falls on deaf

ears.

Your arms snake themselves

around my insufficient waist

holding me close.

Your cheek resting against my

long neck with a sigh.

No words spoken,

None are needed.

My own arms sneak slowly like

caterpillars crawling up your

back and resting themselves

around your neck

With your hair brushing

against them softly

with the sway of the wind.

This all feels new but

comfortable all the same.

We sit like this for what

seems to be hours

just holding each other.

Our hearts beating against

eachothers chest.

Competing with the speed of

the other.

And soon too soon,

its time

for us to pull away.

Reality slips in without us

realizing its presence until  

its too late.

I try to keep it at bay

failing miserably in

doing so.

I can feel myself being

pulled away from you

but I hold onto you,

like a babe to his

mother in fear.

You are my life boat.

The only buoy of hope that

floats across my ocean of

misery.

I can feel the claws of doom

dig into my flesh.

Ripping me away, ruthlessly

from the saviour of my soul.

The pain keeps on growing

until I can feel it in my

very veins.

Burning my flesh away

in an infinitious fire of

sadness.

There's nothing more I can

do now.

Once again I've been trapped

by Hell's very own furnaces

of hopelessness

that burn to cinder even

a microscopic shred of hope

that could cool off a cell of misery

I live with

each day....