immediately all is apparent,
acceptance
is a hard thing to do,
for all my clouded vision-
cataracts, astigmatisms,
religion, relevance make
me impotent,
to forgive, I rage and want revenge.

I breathe in, meditate
and still thru conditioning
see red and blue
blow upon the memories
of smoke filled rooms where  I breathed the poisons.

I cannot do anymore.
I want to once rage and solve it
but my problems
are in the way. As I seek
it is I
I see and I
and the world were meant to be-

****** up.