Imagine being in the middle of class and an elephant sits on your chest
Now take that feeling multiply it by Ten and try taking a test....
You take the test in spite of the feeling and you try your best......another F
Relax Its just a test...right

They say we need help, but most of us wont admit
Those who wont say, are barely able
They say we're not like the rest
That we're not stable...
Maybe they're right

But how would you act if you could feel the Tick Tock of Time-bomb twisting inside your chest
Night after Night, you sit down and force yourself to do whats expected of you
Finally finished hours later retreating to your safe place for a few
Only to be summoned and bombarded with harsh words about the things you didn't do

You feel the twisting intensify, clenching your chest as you're almost thrown to your knees
Your mind is filled with things to say and to scream...
but you can't speak
all you can do is hide...
hide from life and the things that trigger those feelings
all you can think about is how to avoid experiencing them
Day after Day avoiding possible triggers
Always throwing in the towel early, only ever giving Ten percent

It's a shame...all the wasted potential
Just imagine, instead of hiding if you could fight back
Day after Day finally conquering the struggle that held you back for so long
Always giving 110 percent no matter how difficult, to try to keep control of the Beast that rules your life

But you're still left really only giving 10 percent
Because the other hundred is still attempting to hold the Beast so you can think
In these battles with yourself your always left on the brink of destruction
Like a hundred internal volcanic eruptions
Melting away all your motivations
until there's nothing left

And don't think that this is all just me pretending
Because My Beast is the reason this poem has no ending

-Jim Foutch
8/30/2014