There's times when I feel like I can't breathe.
I feel uncomfortable in my own body, like I don't belong there. It's like there's a different person inside of me and she just got into the wrong body.
I wanna pull the hair out of my head.
I wanna be strong and hide it all, but it's getting to hard.
I'm trying and I'm trying.
Trying not to burst into tears in front of you and everyone else. It makes me feel weak. But as soon as I hit the shower and the water is running. I'm bursting. The tears are streaming down my face.
I can't walk around holding it all in all the time. But I don't have time to cry. I need to be strong for myself. I'm not a weak person.
My makeup is hiding my weakness and my oversized clothes is hiding my confidens. Telling people I like my clothes baggy and not sticky is just a bad excuse.
Sometimes I feel like I can see scars on my arms, and everyone can see right through me. I feel like I need to hide myself away. I'm not worthy showing. I absolutely hate it. I can't remember the last time I felt pretty and comfortable.
Going to school makes my stomach knot. Everything turns black and white. People judging me and starring at me when I step in the door.
I'm not me. I can't be me, there's not room for me. I don't fit in. I'm lost. I don't know where the hell I am or where I'm supposed to be.
Is there a place out there in the world where I truly belong?
I'm scared that I won't ever find that place.
I wonder if there's anyone out there who likes me and accepts me for who I am.
I don't know where to go. I feel trapped and locked up.
My heart says I wanna go but my head says don't.
I can't breathe.