i wanna discover Ironlak spray paint and bare brick, learn how to hold the can so my art doesn’t cry.  i wanna dress up and go to the Black Book Gallery.  sip chablis with folks whose Benz payment is more than my monthly expenses. throw up my hands and run out laughing, with tears in my eyes. some days i wanna pretend fleeting things will last forever; like your hand will always find its way to my waist.

i wanna pretend integrity doesn’t matter to me. pretend im a good daughter sister lover friend.  i wanna wake up and pretend that black felonious cloud isn’t funkin’ up my day.  i wanna discover parts of you i didn’t fathom existed and taste the skin of your wrist.  i wanna fall asleep in the grass from joyful exhaustion,  and be awakened by a gentle rain…roll into you and make love like it’s worth a stint in the pokie.

i wanna discover the hard and twisted insides of the caapi vine with you.  get inside out, while gazing into your endless insides. give me rain and heat and hallelujah.  i wanna discover a subculture i never knew existed and pretend i am a part of it.  somedays i wanna pretend forever things, eternal things, are fleeting. like i could call my dead mother tomorrow just to *******.

i wanna rail against the universe.  i wanna brawl with mother nature because it's dumb that ******* can’t create babies.  i wanna discover an afternoon with you, drunk, that bleeds into the evening, night and next morning.  filled with laughter, singing, fake british accents and *****. squishy lips, tongues, giggles and fits. let’s discover time.

i want a lover to take a full bodied swallow of me, roll it around in his mouth like a glass of a buttery merlot… just to prolong the inhalation of me~