post a photograph on the internet
feel stupid
delete it
you mean very little to me but
I desperately want your approval
sit down, place mobile fan in front of face
close eyes
try to breathe
fall back into meadow of linen
rest head on lillypad pillow
teach mom how to properly pronounce "cherry triple soothing action"
fantasize about growing up in Laguna Beach
open eyes
get off bed
stand in front of closet mirror
this is your reflection
this is your mouth tinted in violet
these are the outlines of restless nights beneath the crease of
bottom lashes
these are your shoulders
these are your *******
stretchmarks replicate on the spectrum of your back like
electromagnetic waves
fantasize about growing longer legs
write a letter to somebody that you used to love
wonder where feelings go when you no longer feel them
mind begins to waiver oblivion
you can no longer follow
and you no longer want to
tear up letter in four pieces
stare down at idle light pink hands
they are the same two that caressed his face between them
they are the same two that wrote the words that would tear him apart
attach an emotion to a memory
paste meaning to a sentence where there is none
store consciousness in binary file
shut down computer
restart brim of indifferent heart