I am smashed down
By the worlds standards
With such physical expectations
My hopeless heart sinks
So small ,So small
So small , I am
As I am haunted
By the images of tender Beauty
Powerless and worthless , I feel
As I walk daily ,shrinking inside
I hold my dignity tight
As this shrinking violet
Hides in her great forest
Cheeks all flushed and red
she scurries behind her foliage
Surrounded by her own dead wood

The lashing striking pain
The whips of many masters
Draw blood from my many old wounds
As I become aware of my infected self
To much it is for me
As I play pass the parcel
With all my friends
As youths shines its splendor
Its brightness , claiming the sky's
As I am burned by its great heat
My skin scorched
Such beauty can feel
like the furnaces of hell

For what God would curse us
With such inadequacy and shame
In this half life
For I live in a darkened room
Of many locked doors
Where i have cut my own
Arm and leg off
That I may live in this world
As I live on silent scraps
While the world harvest
And feasts on Gods bounty

But better it is to be the limp inadequate
That can only fail to catch
Helplessly left only to observe
As a great physical Prowess
Can be a great curse
For much seeing is lost
In the unquenchable appetite
Of a hungry feasting Lion
As in the glory of conquest
The soul can be forgotten

The seeds of my shame
And inflections of inadequacy
Where burdens ,never of Gods will
But sewn by the devil himself
To hide the majesty of Gods creation
So I relax to observe
The weeding of our gracious God
As I am relieved of each passing pain
For thy will be done