Jul 2014
did i ever tell you, your eyes tasted like my mocha coffee on an early friday morning?
drizzled with anticipation and dousing me with caffeine,
i needed you, to wake up.
i needed you to wake up.
(you didn't)
caramel was your favorite flavor
and well, I grew to like it too.
(I always did but… more)
your eye lashes were longer than mine and i was jealous
i adored watching you blink
i remember noticing that the more passion within your voice,
the more it correlated with your wide eyes, that was so human.
so real.
did i ever tell you,
your lips accentuated every word you spoke
and no matter what you said, it was pretty
(more or less)
i liked your teeth because you didn’t
a secret hidden part of me hopes you’ll never get braces
did i ever tell you,
your hands were firecrackers, but
familiar fire crackers. the ones i set off in my own backyard.
it’s the twentieth day of the month and lord do i wish sixteen days ago
i was sitting with you on the sand again,
sipping my dark mocha drink
awaiting the sparklers in the sky.
(i think you were with her)
see I told you,
you came along with anticipation
and i kind of liked that. but i grew to know you too well
i’m growing to think that’s why leaving you was so inhumane,
unreal, just downright painful
you were my left arm. and
no matter what i ever said to you,
no matter how bruised, broken, damaging you were to me,
cutting you off was not ideal.
the after shock was worse.
and if you ever have the opportunity to amputate your left arm,
don’t.
the things you need- you need for a reason.
no, things don’t get easier with time
the empty void just becomes a bit more manageable.
i'm learning to manage passing your neighborhood without turning my head
i'm learning to manage not opening your text messages
(more importantly, to not emotionally react whatsoever)
i’m learning to manage with a large part of me missing
and, some days I still search for it
in hidden parts of my house but
i cant grow a new arm,
or a new home,
(see, things don’t work like that.)
drizzled with anticipation and dousing me with caffeine,
i needed you, to wake up.
i needed you to wake up.
(you didn't)
caramel was your favorite flavor
and well, I grew to like it too.
(I always did but… more)
your eye lashes were longer than mine and i was jealous
i adored watching you blink
i remember noticing that the more passion within your voice,
the more it correlated with your wide eyes, that was so human.
so real.
did i ever tell you,
your lips accentuated every word you spoke
and no matter what you said, it was pretty
(more or less)
i liked your teeth because you didn’t
a secret hidden part of me hopes you’ll never get braces
did i ever tell you,
your hands were firecrackers, but
familiar fire crackers. the ones i set off in my own backyard.
it’s the twentieth day of the month and lord do i wish sixteen days ago
i was sitting with you on the sand again,
sipping my dark mocha drink
awaiting the sparklers in the sky.
(i think you were with her)
see I told you,
you came along with anticipation
and i kind of liked that. but i grew to know you too well
i’m growing to think that’s why leaving you was so inhumane,
unreal, just downright painful
you were my left arm. and
no matter what i ever said to you,
no matter how bruised, broken, damaging you were to me,
cutting you off was not ideal.
the after shock was worse.
and if you ever have the opportunity to amputate your left arm,
don’t.
the things you need- you need for a reason.
no, things don’t get easier with time
the empty void just becomes a bit more manageable.
i'm learning to manage passing your neighborhood without turning my head
i'm learning to manage not opening your text messages
(more importantly, to not emotionally react whatsoever)
i’m learning to manage with a large part of me missing
and, some days I still search for it
in hidden parts of my house but
i cant grow a new arm,
or a new home,
(see, things don’t work like that.)
