Been looking on my arms
And i realized for the first time in months that my scars had been to fade..
It's been 4 months since I've taken up this blade.
I've been on top of the world between then and now..
And now..
I feel like I'm at the bottom, intertwined with the earth's crevices and it's so dark and scary,
oh God but I'm okay.
My lover's got me high off him for months and
I've forgotten what the real world was.
I'd forgotten how cold and dark the world was.
And now I'm here sitting sitting and waiting.
And i can hear the blade calling calling and calling..
Taunting at my soul.
And I'm just crying, crying because it's been months and i was on the verge of giving up..
And i gave in..
Oh how peaceful it felt..
Oh how i felt at ease. Oh how beautiful the blood flowed.
So freely from the veins of my soul. And i could hear it screaming "freedom freedom at last".
And the tears never stopped flowing from my eyes..
For I've lost another battle..


I've lost.