Can I smile? Can I laugh? Why does it feel like I have committed a crime? So used to faking a smile that I forget what's real. So used to wearing a mask that i forget who I am. So used to hiding my heart that I forget what It feels. So used to closing my eyes that I forget what's in front of me. So used to popping my headphones that I forget what I just heard. Family always giving me headaches and scratches to the heart. Friends coming and going  like the wind but can never tell the difference of a storm to a cloud.  I just need my outlet