When I was a girl,
I would always notice how the waves would come crashing to the shore,
Kissing it like a bond unbreakable,
I Would notice how the clouds would float in the sky's endless blue,
As if cradled by a mother that would never drop them,

I would notice how no matter where I would go,
The waves and the clouds always had somewhere to return to,
A place they could find themselves,
A place they could call their own,

When I was a young woman,
I would gaze at the ocean and sky,
Wishing I had a place to call my own as they do,
A place where I could find myself and not feel lost in my own skin,
I wanted to find myself.

When I met you,
When I finally met you,
I thought I had found the place I'd stayed awake at night searching for,
With eyes puffy and body curled into a Celtic knot,
I thought I'd found the place where I could find myself,

When I fell in love with you,
I felt as if I were a newborn baby clinging to the warmth of it's mothers chest,
As if I were the waves kissing the shore and the clouds being held by the sky,
But when I realized that I was not the waves,
That I was not the clouds That I was not the baby,
I crumbled- and you didn't catch me,

Not because you didn't want to but because you were not the place where I could find myself and you knew,
You knew and so I fell,

And while falling I realized that it was not your fault,
That no matter if the sky holds the clouds till the end of time,
and if the sea kisses the shore for an eternity,
The place I had spent sleepless nights searching for in the vast Savannah of my mind and every crevice of your body,
The place I had believed would finally make me feel cradled and accepted,
Was not in you,

It was in no one but myself.