As I look up at your eyes
I see nothing but a deep, red mist.
I used to cry in pain every night
thinking of the places your hand violently struck.
Now I've grown up
and you've learned to keep your distance.
But you found another way to abuse me
I wish I could still be punished
just like the hits i endured in the past,
because your words now destroy me.
they puncture deeply right through my heart.

You know the saying,
"Sticks and stones may break my bones,"
but the words will always haunt me.
You spit them out effortlessly
not bothering to think who you may hurt.
not bothering to think about
what internal damage may emerge
from deep within my soul.

I'm scared to look anyone in the eye
because they might see through me.
I'm afraid to express myself in front of them,
because of what they might think of me.
I fear their judgement, i tremble as i crouch
in a dark, hollow corner with nothing
but the monsters behind my walls.
I see now that you made me the person
i have always feared.
The person I never thought that I'd become.
I became a bloodsucking monster,
a creation you succeeded in designing.
No more confidence, no more dignity.
It was all ****** out,
the moment you infected your poison inside my brain.

Someday when I'm old and gray,
I will think of you and sigh.
I'd remember the father you once were,
and ask myself what I must have done
to suffer through your torturing intimidation.
I'll remember you for the person you always were,
and not the one I've dreamed of having.
Because those cuts and heals will someday fade
it's the words i'll always remember.