Stupid ******* phone.
It's touchscreen keyboard ****** me off,
so I threw it at the couch
and it exploded gloriously
into it's components
(access ******* granted!)
and I found myself with the idea of:
"If only I gave a ****
about your miserable existence."

I mean, I love it as a tool,
but as a crutch it ******* fails.

Go a day without your phone.
If you can't: something's amiss.