The Puritans among us,
Like their kin of yesterdays.
Think they know what’s good for us
Oh, if only we would obey,

They hate it when they see us smoking
They despise our thirst for beer.
They long for a world where all are thin-
a world devoid of cheer.

What tortures modern Puritans?
-and leaves them quite undone-
Is the thought that someone, somewhere,
might still be getting some.