What is this somber aching that reminds me that I am here, as if the shining Sun warmed hearts but forgot me lying near

I tried to bask, and red pain was my reward.
I tried to draw that joy, and ended feeling bored.

The mood set by regret. a poised bird, an egret. Those stones churned and reset the feigned glow of the pulpit.

Shocked awed and shown it, an ever reaching feeling called content.

So play pain again, I'd really love to feel.