when i type i'm afraid that allmywordsruntogetherandthatyou
will never
know
what i'm trying to tell you
that you'll never understand the words
flying off the merry-go-round in my head
i feel as if i'm flying off the handlebars of my bike
and i'm in that moment of ecstacy where
i suddenly realize i will hit the ground
hard
but until then i have this moment of freedom in the air
my biggest fear has always been that i will be misunderstood
that is why i take semester after semester
course after course
lecture after lecture
writing page after page of tiny spiny words
to make sure i learn every single way i can express myself
in case i forget one
because i do
and it terrifies me