you talk to me as if suicide isn't an option
as if I haven't cut myself six million and one times
      there are only so many ways to count to death
dreams
   can only be ****** for so long

I felt the first crack
                             the day
                                       you called me
                                                              a mistake
to think
   I mistook you for a parent
but you never learned to bare your heart
just gnashing fists and clenched teeth
love
      has always had gaps to escape through
   you just didn't let it

but before I get to note's end
I want you to know
            that I love you
            that I speak it every night into the
                                                   s                           n         e
                                                            l  ­           e
                                                      i        ­                    c
like a prayer
            that I pray that someday it will be enough
   to put cracks in this reality

depression is not the only thing I drown in
under all the blue
I am gushing with red
it's just sometimes I forget I'm breathing

I guess what I'm saying is
   **Eventually...
                             I will flood
but I'm holding off as long as I can
~it would be nice if you at least tried to help~