Dear (Once) Loved One...

I used to have questions
you would not answer...
I for long thought of answers
for which you would not enquire...

So, time has passed,
and wounds have healed,
yet questions still linger inside.

I forgave you. You raged on.
I tried more. More hurtful words.

An instance of hope did shimmer,
you gave me the weight of it all,
I apologised, for I too had wronged,
yet you left me unforgiven.

I wish I was the sole traitor.
Wish I could lighten your fault.

Still, here, these words for you,
all sorrow and pain and regret,
offered to the ghost of you,
all these after so very long...

Am I broken or not?
You joked you had brought down my wall.

This must be some illness,
how could such sorrow be felt?
Emptying and freezing what's left.
Thoughts of what could have been...

I guess all that remains is this question.
It is silly and dumb and too old.

It is all I ever wanted to know.
Burning and turning and spinning.
Hauntingly corroding all thought.
I guess I could forgive you once more.

If you ever were in love with me.
If you just could not utter these words.