[he is gone]


the hardest thing
   i have ever had to do
  is attempt to convince myself
  that my feelings are wrong
that human connections i feel so strongly
are like whispers on the wind

bend my mind
to another perspective
    shift my gaze to try
to see clearly.
   tell myself that my truth
isn't the truth.

that just because i would never
do something to another person,
   it has no bearing whatsoever
on what they see fit to do to me.

trying to understand another mind
that will not open to you
is a fruitless struggle.

i haven't found a way
to explain my wrongness
  
there are things i simply
refuse to believe about you
because my heart gut tells me
to believe otherwise.