this is the fifth time today my eyes fall closed.
in a minute or two i'll dissolve into the night sky.
i've become much more silent,
but only a little less eager.
i'm tired during her absences,
and she vividly walks in dreams.

this is the third time this week i think of cigarettes.
i wonder how i manage to survive the suffocation.
i'm living with severe headaches,
and loving my personal sadness.
so in turn i put death between my lips,
and slowly breathe my life away.

this is the first time you affect me this way.
and i dug deep in the earth to find you alive.
i want you as much as i don't.
it's like nicotine and sleep;
more than a little and less than too much,
just enough,
until we are airborne for good.