I was walking toward our old room.
I knew you weren't there;
I just wanted to feel something --
Something ephemeral and faint,
Tinged with nostalgia and sweat.

I couldn't turn the ****.
I heard every word
That we once shared
Blare into my ears:
"Are we meaningless?"
You once asked me.
"I'd still love you"
I said.

I forced myself into the room,
Everything pristine and clean,
But completely lacking you.
So I went to our bed,
Where we shared ourselves
With one another.

I could hear your voice
Whispering lines from our favorite songs,
And I could feel your skin
Falling into me.
I never wanted to leave.

Then, I heard your death,
Lurching and shaking in the bed.
All alone with no one to hold,
Or to hold you,
And where was I?

So I closed the door,
Away from the horrible noise
Haunting my mind,
And manifesting in our bed.
I just wish you were still with me
So we could walk into the morning fog,
And watch the mist glow at sunrise
Together.