Best Friends

I've lost my best friend,
thought we'd be together,
til the very end.
Been together for five long years,
if only you could see all my tears.
We'd sit on the couch and watch tv,
you even came with,
when I had to ***.
No bad, only good times,
this is worse than any hate crimes.
Thought I saw you by the door,
pushing your buttons, I adore.
Is that you, on the table,
come home, I miss my cable.
Searched the house, and found nothing,
I was hoping, she was just bluffing.
Dug deep into my ugly couch,
with that extra deep hole,
and there it was, among other things,
my long, lost beautiful remote control.
Don't you dare ever leave me again,
or you'll be Barbie,
and I'll be Ken.