so i ask you, sage,
     in all sincerity
  how to put aside
a ridiculous pride...a palpable fear
to let fly
the asking?

easy?
no.
i have found no easy thing worth doing
or loving.
   i don't want ease
i want l o v e
  that i would burn bridges for
a struggle of understanding
that will keep me alive and whole
a sickening rush
worth every sacrifice.

paralyzing terror
because nothing is due me...
nothing should be expected
so nothing can be misplaced
    misguided

restraint,
restraint!!!
yes?!
   yes.
that must be the answer.

for if not restraint,
  then earth shaking love.
and if the earth shakes
  people might get hurt.

and i might be one of them.