ANGELS AREN'T ENOUGH

you could have known me truly and the selfish promises I have pledged

but I saved you, I kept you safe, I kept you turned away from my edge

safe from me because I'm a dark fall not intended to fledge

I never intended for you to hear the truth in any of the words I said

as clever as you are you don't really know fear and it's reins

because you haven't hurt long enough to understand deepening pain

you wont ever know the corrosion of our own devices until you refrain

for as long as you can, only to feel them come flooding back in through every vein

yes I know the cigarettes are killing me one nail in the coffin at a time

and the ***** that's filling my sail is far too often unkind

and yes, every girl I've laid next to haunts me in the hallways of my mind

and the only blankets I can hide under for warmth have already began to unwind

so now the dollars fill bank accounts and wallets and pockets but not the holes

and they can't ever buy back the days of my fleeting youth I've already sold

the price of living it once is forever after feeling you've grown too old

and deep, painful regret is the last page scribed in every story I've told

but you can never keep close to you what you never really had

and you can't sit down with my heart, the child, and explain sad

and no person or situation will ever cause me to feel I'm truly glad

when every word given has only another misdirection of hope to add

you said you'd whisper love sweetly but you kissed me and I tasted blood

so take another day from me, steal my next breath in the rising flood

make the lowest I can kneel beneath you my bruised hands in the mud

crush the flowers, thrash the stems, poison the roots, clip the buds

angels aren't enough to lift me up from where I'm falling

heaven hasn't promises true enough for what I beg when I'm calling

for help, for sanctuary, for relief from the increasing burdens I'm hauling

and comfort lent is only stalling the demons that being me means brawling

You could have know me to the color of my bone

but I saved you

in every way

that I left you alone

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