Feb 2014
you could have known me truly and the selfish promises I have pledged
but I saved you, I kept you safe, I kept you turned away from my edge
safe from me because I'm a dark fall not intended to fledge
I never intended for you to hear the truth in any of the words I said
as clever as you are you don't really know fear and it's reins
because you haven't hurt long enough to understand deepening pain
you wont ever know the corrosion of our own devices until you refrain
for as long as you can, only to feel them come flooding back in through every vein
yes I know the cigarettes are killing me one nail in the coffin at a time
and the ***** that's filling my sail is far too often unkind
and yes, every girl I've laid next to haunts me in the hallways of my mind
and the only blankets I can hide under for warmth have already began to unwind
so now the dollars fill bank accounts and wallets and pockets but not the holes
and they can't ever buy back the days of my fleeting youth I've already sold
the price of living it once is forever after feeling you've grown too old
and deep, painful regret is the last page scribed in every story I've told
but you can never keep close to you what you never really had
and you can't sit down with my heart, the child, and explain sad
and no person or situation will ever cause me to feel I'm truly glad
when every word given has only another misdirection of hope to add
you said you'd whisper love sweetly but you kissed me and I tasted blood
so take another day from me, steal my next breath in the rising flood
make the lowest I can kneel beneath you my bruised hands in the mud
crush the flowers, thrash the stems, poison the roots, clip the buds
angels aren't enough to lift me up from where I'm falling
heaven hasn't promises true enough for what I beg when I'm calling
for help, for sanctuary, for relief from the increasing burdens I'm hauling
and comfort lent is only stalling the demons that being me means brawling
You could have know me to the color of my bone
but I saved you
in every way
that I left you alone
but I saved you, I kept you safe, I kept you turned away from my edge
safe from me because I'm a dark fall not intended to fledge
I never intended for you to hear the truth in any of the words I said
as clever as you are you don't really know fear and it's reins
because you haven't hurt long enough to understand deepening pain
you wont ever know the corrosion of our own devices until you refrain
for as long as you can, only to feel them come flooding back in through every vein
yes I know the cigarettes are killing me one nail in the coffin at a time
and the ***** that's filling my sail is far too often unkind
and yes, every girl I've laid next to haunts me in the hallways of my mind
and the only blankets I can hide under for warmth have already began to unwind
so now the dollars fill bank accounts and wallets and pockets but not the holes
and they can't ever buy back the days of my fleeting youth I've already sold
the price of living it once is forever after feeling you've grown too old
and deep, painful regret is the last page scribed in every story I've told
but you can never keep close to you what you never really had
and you can't sit down with my heart, the child, and explain sad
and no person or situation will ever cause me to feel I'm truly glad
when every word given has only another misdirection of hope to add
you said you'd whisper love sweetly but you kissed me and I tasted blood
so take another day from me, steal my next breath in the rising flood
make the lowest I can kneel beneath you my bruised hands in the mud
crush the flowers, thrash the stems, poison the roots, clip the buds
angels aren't enough to lift me up from where I'm falling
heaven hasn't promises true enough for what I beg when I'm calling
for help, for sanctuary, for relief from the increasing burdens I'm hauling
and comfort lent is only stalling the demons that being me means brawling
You could have know me to the color of my bone
but I saved you
in every way
that I left you alone
