Why do I still feel like dying?
Why do I feel so ready to push a knife through my heart, and happy to feel the pain of my life bleed away?
Is that strange?
I don't know if it is anymore
And that makes the choice even worse
~sigh~
If only for it was my time
I'd lie in a restful peaceful slumber
A slumber that would last forever
and makes this life seem beautiful far away and ugly right in front of me
That life is right now
Not in front of me
And I can only wait for it to end or to end it myself
for which I can't
Death has laughed at me many a time and I seek him everyday
When I'm alone and weary
I wish for his embrace and his cold death kisses touching my lips and helping me fade away from my misery and into blissful death
Everyday I wish for this but I never receive it no matter how hard I've tried to touch him
He's too far and too wise to let me touch him
Oh Death, how could I miss you? How could I crave you so deeply, when we have only brushed paths but never met or seen each other?