Here I am thinking
What have I become?
Is this me, Was it me before?
I'm exhausted by the constant adding up
-multiplying the times I have had to reassess
Where am I in this maze..
I feel the certainty chip away as the people I love wilt and disappear
The knowledge I once held close I lay down next to their once comforting words
Nothing is definite
Fact is a state of Illusion
Am I alright with this?
I once declared.. "I thrive on chaos"
I now search for comfort within it, and hold on tight to my own prospects
Is this really who I have become?
What do I fear? .. Measurement(?)
Those who are adding up their own multiples(?)
Me
As I look myself over in the mirror
judging.. assessing the weight of each insult
Who cares?
Do I? How can I find contentment in all of these flaws
My lack of effort
My lack of effort to conform to ideals .. is this part of me, a rebellion of sort
Will it pay off in the long run or will I fall flat on my face in the abyss of conformity
I am lucky I am loved. I think
oh so lucky .. luck is temporary, it's all temporary
that's the good part(!) We don't have to dwell but(!) might we have to Answer
To Pay.. for all decisions and outcomes.
Is this why(?)
..I know I am not the only one thinking..