Flash-to-bang times
was my specialty,
I can predict
the downwind
conditions of fallout,
move you across
the contamination,
administer slurry.

I know the symptoms
& what can happen
when you sniff
VX, VG or AK.
It doesn't matter which one,
it ain't pretty.

I can don a mask,
know all about MOPP,
can fight 'till I drop.

I guess that qualifies me
as an expert on the Apocalypse.