I have all these fears
that create doubt within me
I'm so sad it hurts and still
You ask me to trust.
You want me to give unconditionally
But for what?
I'm already down on my knees as
I beg and plead for someone to rescue me
Someone come save me from these demons
that are consuming me!
It's dark here where i am
and I don't know if I'll ever find a light again
I'm gasping to breathe
All this pain inside is destroying me
I just want so bad to be free
I'm tired of this life dragging me down
tired of listening to everyone around me shout
I want numbness to take a firm hold of me
I want to feel nothing, cold as can be
Because I will never trust anyone again completely
mostly because I don't even trust me
I don't know when I'm going to finally snap
Right now I'm just stuck in life's heavy trap
I've been rode hard and put up wet
and I am out of gambling chips to bet
I want to give up
and be done with it all
Let go and not fear the fall
Why do I keep pushing myself and the ones that I love?
Why can't I let well enough be and just rise above?
So much madness and hate in this world
what has it made me become?
I feel worthless as can be
when no one is ever there to help me
It's like reaching out for someone who is not there
and I'm always left alone and bare
Always playing this game of truth or dare
It's like a first time kiss,
The price you pay is so immense
So tell me why I keep on playing,
When the price is too high for me to keep on paying?
This dark cloud just keeps hanging above
and I'm standing here stuck in a rut
continually hearing "I love you, but...."
© Ashley Rodden. All rights reserved