The constant mental banter
    Back and forth yes or no
        Do I disappoint my love
            For a moment of instant gratification?

            Do I throw away recovery
        Three solid months
    Itchy skin and hateful thoughts
For a moment of instant gratification?

                                                               ­                                                         And I'm so full of regret
                                                                ­                                                     Because it wasn't worth it
                                                              ­                                                       And I hurt my best friend
                                                          ­                                         For a moment of instant gratification

          A moment of instant gratification
          That wasn't even gratifying
          Wasn't in the slightest, satisfying
          Harboring a moment of regret
          For something he won't forget
          But I tried in vain to justify
          The actions I couldn't dignify
          Words that trickled like thorns
          Oh how I wish I waited a minute more
          And not let their whispers win
          Screams rather, as they crawl in
          They soothed their shrieks
          And gently brushed my cheeks
          And convinced me it didn't count
          If it didn't bleed on my account  
          But he held my close and said it did
          I can't swallow it, but it's true, I backslid
          "But it didn't leave any marks to show"
          My mind screams and my heart does echo
          "I didn't bleed in the slightest my dear"
          Disappointing him is a biggest fear
          As immaturity grasps at my soul
          I have to accept my repercussions in whole
          Three months down the drain
          And causing my best friend pain
          Not a scar to show for what I've done
          But away from me, he'll never run..