i don’t remember when i stopped having control over my life
it’s probably when i said “it’s fine.”
when it wasn’t

now i ride along in the train, i call my mind
yellow seats forming
showcasing the fading joy i once felt

there’s also a red seat.
a concerning seat
a seat i never imagined myself sitting in
a seat that represents me, as a whole, diminishing away
where i had my own personality
my own style
my own feelings
my true and original self
a self that will never be seen again