i stopped crying
the way i used to --
stopped being loud,
messy,
and instead 
became
quieter.
just quiet enough 
for no one 
to ask me
what's wrong.

your name --
it still lives
in my phone.
untouched.
but never deleted,
just
in
case
you ever 
call.

isn't it funny
how someone
can stay
like a lump
in your throat --
long after
you stop
calling their name
out loud.

i don't cy
for you anymore.
but gosh,
sometimes i wish
you'd just give me
a reason to
still
cry
over you
because somehow
not calling
your name aloud
hurts more.