i am taking back
    my father's name
and holding on tight

your name
     is a leash around my neck
identifying me
as part of something
that does not exist

it is stamped on paper
and recognized
      by the state

it is seared into the minds
of everyone i know
for the rest of my life

a brand

a mistake.

it must be easier for you
    wrapped in the name
of your father
free
of my presence

of my name.

i cannot thank you
for any of this.
not any of it
because
i was so wrong.
so
so
wrong.

and nothing will ever be the same again.