i am afraid to love you
because the thing i have loved the longest
lays on my pillow in tatters

a bunny, a delicate thing
handed to me in the confines of my crib
the one consistent comfort i was allowed

threads pulled loose, silken fabric stained
she has known the sewing needle
like i have known the surgery knife, afraid

i am afraid to love you
because my need reduces the loved
to something ragged
seventeen years, a hundred washes
graying fabric
half a dozen holes

i am afraid to love you
and i do not wish to see
your threads come loose
because of me