Im alive but I feel im not living, atleast not for my self I live to serve and die to feel
I always wanted to go to run free like a leaf in the wind but I sit in place like a flower only wanted for visual appeal thrown to the side once I wilt
my own body is not only mine he told me 'I need you alive'
When I first heard that It sounded sweet like a twisted condolance but now I see how my life is a commodity some thing to be had
My mother made me with a servantful heart one that caused me to feel it was always my fault
I stayed up late to raise babies and got up early to learn how to get my self out of the situation because a 'woman is always more vulnerable'
My mothers own words that meant for me to succeed as much as a man I would need to work my life away.
I know my mother just wanted me to know the reality of the world but I feel like these senitments made me very different than I could have been