Nov 2013
I saw... I saw how you broke the strongest person I know. How you made her fall to her knees. You'll never know how her cries haunt me to this day. "Never trust...keep them away...walls" these thoughts ran and still run through my head. Over and over like a broken record that's beginning to shred my sanity. Look at what you've done.
I can't understand how you can walk in here like you've done nothing wrong. Do you feel no guilt? Does the fact that you crushed her mean anything to you?
But no, you're right, you always are. Your excuses will always defy logic while you manipulate all your wants to seem right, proving us wrong. Your hypocrisy shreds all other insanities.
Will you ever know how when you broke her you shattered me? These scars I have, the scars I hide, they came from you always reminding me what happens when I trust someone.
Own this, take responsibility. You boast about your accomplishments already, so why not this? Because it might ruin your image, show the rest that your not all they perceive you to be. Or will it hurt your ego to know that you've done wrong.
Because of you I play it safe. Not trusting those around me with my thoughts, emotions, heart... But thats how you wanted it, isn't it. For me to not trust.
You know, I find it funny that you wonder why I try pulling away harder every time you tighten my leash. Yeah its ironic how I don't want to come to you when all I get are the verbal smacks of what a terrible person i am, of all I do wrong, of how disappointed you are that I'm not better.
But I'm done, I'm not a dog and I refuse to let you dictate this part of my life. I'm human. I'm allowed flaws, opinions, and imperfections. These scars, they make me beautiful. They're battle I've fought, that I've won. So i refuse not to trust, because not everyone judges me the way you do. I refuse... I refuse to be refused my rights as a human being and I refuse to deny everything that makes me, me.
So here, take it back. Take it all back. All the lies, false promises, persecution,denial,hate...take it back, all the blows you gave me. All the cracks to my body while I cried for you to stop, but prayed you wouldn't so that you would not see the little boy I was hiding in the corner.
You know, I'm standing here right now broken, busted but I am not defeated. I will never let you hold me down. Because...because I'm worth it. I'm worth all the dreams I have, all the hopes I carry and all the love given to me. And for all those people like me, so are you.
I can't understand how you can walk in here like you've done nothing wrong. Do you feel no guilt? Does the fact that you crushed her mean anything to you?
But no, you're right, you always are. Your excuses will always defy logic while you manipulate all your wants to seem right, proving us wrong. Your hypocrisy shreds all other insanities.
Will you ever know how when you broke her you shattered me? These scars I have, the scars I hide, they came from you always reminding me what happens when I trust someone.
Own this, take responsibility. You boast about your accomplishments already, so why not this? Because it might ruin your image, show the rest that your not all they perceive you to be. Or will it hurt your ego to know that you've done wrong.
Because of you I play it safe. Not trusting those around me with my thoughts, emotions, heart... But thats how you wanted it, isn't it. For me to not trust.
You know, I find it funny that you wonder why I try pulling away harder every time you tighten my leash. Yeah its ironic how I don't want to come to you when all I get are the verbal smacks of what a terrible person i am, of all I do wrong, of how disappointed you are that I'm not better.
But I'm done, I'm not a dog and I refuse to let you dictate this part of my life. I'm human. I'm allowed flaws, opinions, and imperfections. These scars, they make me beautiful. They're battle I've fought, that I've won. So i refuse not to trust, because not everyone judges me the way you do. I refuse... I refuse to be refused my rights as a human being and I refuse to deny everything that makes me, me.
So here, take it back. Take it all back. All the lies, false promises, persecution,denial,hate...take it back, all the blows you gave me. All the cracks to my body while I cried for you to stop, but prayed you wouldn't so that you would not see the little boy I was hiding in the corner.
You know, I'm standing here right now broken, busted but I am not defeated. I will never let you hold me down. Because...because I'm worth it. I'm worth all the dreams I have, all the hopes I carry and all the love given to me. And for all those people like me, so are you.
